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375 | Feel energized with this episode featuring Doug Lawrence!

December 14, 2022

375 | Feel energized with this episode featuring Doug Lawrence!
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Doug Lawrence is the only one to hold the Certificate of Competence – Journey Mentor provided by the International Mentoring Community (IMC) in the world today. A Certified competent Journey Mentor is a mentor of mentors working to assist people navigating the certification process provided by IMC. The Journey Mentor plays a significant role of being a part of the support structure for mentor health. This requires that the Journey Mentor be able to provide a deeper, richer mentoring experience.

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Transcript

0:00  
This is a production of kN media dot Pro. Welcome back to positive talk radio. Our goal is simple to explore evolving ideas, one conversation at a time. So come on over into our world, I know you'll like it. Because on today's show, today, we get to feature a young man who has been doing what he's been doing for all these 40 long years ago. And he's been a mentor, and he's got a company and he works with people to get the success then in their life that they're really looking for. And Nathan, are you getting the success in your life that you're really looking for?

0:46  
You know, I thought you were about to introduce me as your guest. When you said Young man, then you said 40 years, and I was like, Oh, I still got a lot more years to go to be our guest.

0:56  
Yes, it well, you know, sometimes it takes a little bit of seasoning. And then to learn to get the experience that you need to be able to help people. His name, by the way, is God Lawrence, and he is with us from Saskatchewan in Canada. And by the way, if you want to follow along, you can do that by going to talent.ca? Or is it down talent? c.ca? Is that right? Yep, that's right. Talent c.ca. And you can find out all about him the work that he does, and one of the major things that he is, is a world renowned mentor. And I want to start with that, because, you know, we have coaches on the show occasionally and, and stuff that I would like you to explain the difference between what a mentor is, and what a coach is

1:46  
sure to know when you are going to go down that path. So, and this is I mean, if we were to go on on the internet and do a Google search, you'd probably find that there's all kinds of variations as to what's the difference between the two for me, and this is based on my experience that with mentoring, it's a longer term relationship or arrangement that I get into with the people that I mentoring. Coaching is more, it's more defined, it's more structured, per se. And they establish goals and they work towards those. And I know that with mentoring the I try to have it where the person I'm mentoring has the leeway to sort of guide us where they would like to go. And then we can kind of flesh out okay, what are the things we're going to do together to be able to to achieve those goals?

2:47  
When you know, one of those things that I wanted to mention to you is I was looking at your website, and you have a testimonial from a young lady that was having a lot of trouble finding a job, she hated the job that she had she her resume, she put it out everywhere, she got no results. Nobody was even calling her back. And she was beside herself. Because she couldn't figure out what she was doing wrong. And tell you showed up. You had a friend recommended you and you went to talk to her. And what did you discover? And how were you able to help her?

3:26  
You know, the and I've had this in probably two or three different situations. But what I did was I helped her rewrite the resume. And believe it or not, there was a lot of negative energy in the resume itself. And so that's what was happening is she was floating all this negative energy out into the, you know, into the business community and people are going I don't want any part of that. And once we cleaned it up unchanged it and the other part is that she was she was fighting self esteem, self confidence, all of those things. And it's surprising, but that actually seeped through into the resume itself. And once we took care of all of that she had I think that soon as we got a new resume floating out there, within a couple of weeks, she had three interviews and shortly thereafter a job.

4:22  
And then they decided that they liked her so much that they wanted to keep her on.

4:28  
Yeah, that's she was she she became the model the sort of the poster person that you would want for positivity in an organization and which, you know, what she would do is that she'd be busy at her desk and somebody come up and start talking negative and she'd say, well, just a minute. If you're going to stand there and you're going to talk to me, you talk to me in a positive sense, and not in a negative sense. Otherwise, get out of here. I don't have time for negativity and She became the champion throughout the organization for that, that sort of positive energy to be able to drive that forward. And you know, I've had that experience in one other situation, had it in a lot, but one that really stands out is I was working with a young person. And when they walked through the door to meet me for the first time, they were all hunched over, they wouldn't do eye contact, they would talk and very quiet term terminology and all that sort of stuff. And, and all I did was I just said, a simple sentence was, how come you don't believe in you as much as I believe in you and what you're capable of doing. And I was like, somebody just put a spotlight on her. And it changed her whole perspective of who she was as a person. That and of course, a number of packages of post it notes on on the bathroom window, saying I am a good person, and I can do good things.

6:04  
You know, if you would like to talk to Doug, about changing your perspective, on life, because it really is about that, about who you believe yourself to be. And, you know, we get a lot of negatives that come at us from all directions. And you really have got to understand that you are in control of what you believe in that or what happens there. At least, that's what God has told me in the last interview, we did so. So that's really, really cool. So Nathan, if somebody wants to give us a call, so that, okay, it's lunchtime, in Seattle, and you're sitting in your car, and you're having your lunch, and you're contemplating going back to the job you don't like, and you can't seem to find a way out. And Doug may be able to help you. So if you are in that situation, and would like to give us a call so that you can be kind of the ringleader to help other people find the same things. Nathan, how can they get a hold of us now is

7:03  
the time to pick up your phone and dial four to 537355 to seven or toll free number if you'd like is 1-888-298-5569.

7:14  
By the way, before we get too far into this, I want to I want to say Nathan that I had the opportunity to talk to your bosses the other day, and I just wanted to let you know that I told them what a fabulous job that you are doing. And that they've done a duck I gotta tell you this radio station that 2k K NW. They've got what they call board operators, and they've got one that's been there, well over 20 years. And the other major one has been there like 18 or 19 years. And, and Nathan's been with it. How long have you been with him? Now? Nathan,

7:48  
I've been here about six years.

7:51  
And so I asked him, I said, So what are you doing to prevent turnover? Because in your business, when you have board operators that are competent, and they do and they add to the shows, and all you know Eric and and and Nathan, and Benny all add to the complex? And the variety, and what happens with the shows? How do you keep these people? And he told me, but I'll tell you what he said in a few minutes. But I wanted to tell you that I wanted to ask you isn't eliminating turnover from a business standpoint, paramount to being a successful business?

8:29  
Yes. And you know, the reason a lot of people don't realize it, but it probably costs one and a half to two times the annual salary to actually replace somebody if they were to leave the organization. And on top of that, you need to think of all that corporate knowledge that's going to walk out the door with them that you can't get back.

8:52  
Yeah, I've always when I was in management, I always told my people that when we lose, when we don't take care of our good people, and we lose one, it can take up to five people to replace that one individual at the competence level that they had. Is that am I close in that?

9:07  
Yeah, yeah, you're definitely close. And I think you know, the thing that that really, for me, what really stood out was and it's called a knowledge transfer strategy. But most places don't have that. It's just like most places don't have a succession plan in place to replace retired workers and stuff like that. And, and and have people succession planned into management level positions. I forget what the numbers were, but it was 85% of organizations don't have a succession planning process in place.

9:46  
And when you lose somebody that retires, it's hard to get somebody back who's as good as the person that retired.

9:52  
That's correct. But you know, there is a saving grace here is that you can take that retired person, offer them to come NACA is one of your corporate mentors, and they can mentor the transfer of knowledge to the new leaders in the organization.

10:09  
You know, that's I, I really liked that you say that because you know, when you get a little longer in the tooth, and and your interview with a guy who may be 30 years younger than you, and and you can see it in his eyes, and he's saying, oh, man, this guy is it happened to me when I was 50. This guy wants to be a sales manager, he's over 50 years, 20 years, my senior, he's not going to be around long or that or he's going to take my job or there's going to be so you know, so it's really tough for older Americans who've got this base knowledge all over the place to be able to use it. And a Smart Company will utilize that one thing.

10:47  
Yes, they would. And there has been a stigmatism that factor of age that, you know, you you've got nothing left like you're of no value to any organization, which it's all to the contrary, because those are the people with the lived experience, they've been down that path before they can, they can do the critical thinking a lot better, a lot quicker than what you know, some young person and they can pass that knowledge on to help that younger person get up to that same level or up to that speed.

11:24  
I do have to ask you, because, you know, we are in the middle of a great big change in that 30 years ago, there was no such thing as cell phones, there was no Internet, there was really very little computers. As a matter of fact, in talking with Nathan's people, I was asking them how they log commercials and stuff. And he said, Well, you know, in the old days, well, when was the old days, oh, 20 years ago? It's like, oh, geez, you know that they would do everything by hand. Now, it's all can be automated and stuff, but but how do you how do you help and mentor, an older person who may not have the computer technical knowledge that a younger person grew up with? How do you get them to, to pick up that knowledge or to fight that fight that battle?

12:12  
you reverse the and I there's a term that that's out there that I I'm I'm a strong? Not I'm definitely not an advocate, but they have what they call reverse mentoring. And what that's supposed to be is that a younger person will mentor an older person. And what I've been trying to get people to understand is that if you look at the true definition of mentoring, which is a two way trusted relationship where both the mentor and the mentee are going to learn and grow together, you know, on a personal and professional basis, there's nothing in there about reverse going backwards. And that's how I I always tell people is when I'm mentoring somebody, I'm not going backwards. So I don't use reverse mentoring. But that's, that's typically what you'll see in a lot of organizations is they will, they will get the younger people who are more tech savvy to work with some of the older people to teach them the different things they need to know about various software applications and some of the different technology like tools that they they need to be aware of in order to do their job.

13:26  
That's, that's outstanding. And that really makes a whole lot of sense. Now those people, I have got some younger people who work with me, and they are very tech savvy. And I am very, I'm not bad, but I'm not, you know, I'm not excellent like they are. And so it takes them a while and they have to be patient with me. Because I don't understand, or I don't know what each button on a particular program does, and how it can affect anything. So it takes me a little bit to get that done. And I'm a one hand or one finger typist and stuff and I spell poorly, sometimes and stuff so it makes it a little bit tougher. But, uh, but yeah, having them helped me has been made a world of difference. And thank god, they're patient. If they were here, they might shoot me but you know, but they're patient with me and stuff like that. So, so that's it. That's really good. I wanted to double back and talk about the resume. Because the resume you said had a lot of, of negative energy to it. Now what words are what did she use? That gave you the impression that there was negative energy coming through that?

14:34  
It was when she brought a copy of the resume with her to this first meeting that we had together? And how I could just feel the the negativity from that based on her on her body language and how she responded to stuff so it wasn't so much that you know, you you would pick up the resume and you go ooh, you know, it's horrible for Well, feeling and all that stuff, it was a combination of the two, it was the resume being written in, in, in terminology that was really very, very negative. And, and then just from the conversation that I had with her, it just sort of solidified or refortified, that actual sensor that feeling that I was getting.

15:26  
So it wasn't so much what she said, it was kind of how she said it, and the and the overall lay of the of the entire resume.

15:34  
And well, and there's some trigger words, you know, we get into talking about effective communication and things like that. And one of the things I tell people is that you need to listen and hear when someone is speaking to you or talking with you, or however you want to word that. But there will always be trigger words in a conversation that are gonna guide you where you need to go next and in the conversation. And in her case, it was, you know, me asking her so how come? You know, why haven't we been successful with this resume in sending it out there. And her response was very simply, well, I'm just not good enough. And nobody wants to hire me. Nobody wants to give me a job. And all we did was then just changed how the resume flowed and all of that stuff. And I planted seeds in our in our mind that, you know, we need to look at this from something more positive. And once we like I said earlier, once we started doing that, she started to get some hits on the resume and hips turned into interviews and interviews turned into jobs.

16:47  
In your experience, dog, why do we do that to ourselves?

16:52  
You know, I don't have an answer for that one to be truthfully, because I know that every morning that when I wake up, and I look in the mirror, I I tell myself, today's another day, today's is a day that you're going to make a difference. And you know, you need to put a right foot in front of the left foot in front and go forward and be able to do that. Because the the big thing that I find is that if I'm positive, those that are around me that are in that sort of that circle that are around me, they're going to be in a positive sense as well. Versus if I'm kind of that, you know, lethargic, or I don't really think I'm going to have a good day sort of thing that rubs off on those that are around you.

17:41  
Doesn't really when you start saying that I'm not going to have a good day. I'm just not I'm not I'm not I'm not. Is that a self fulfilling prophecy?

17:50  
Well, it could be it doesn't have to be

17:53  
that but you got to change your way of thinking. That's right. Yeah. Well, you know, there was a guy and and they then you can look at look this guy up. His name was a frosty Westerling. He was a coach of PLU for I believe, like 20 or 30 years. And he was a football coach. And he was very, very successful. We won a national championship. And, and he had a saying, and he tramps translated that to his players with make it a great day. That would that was his kind of slogan, make it a great day, because you'd have the opportunity to decide how what day you're going to have. And if it's going to be a great day. Did you? Did you find him Nathan?

18:35  
I have found him.

18:37  
And how many wins? Did he have?

18:39  
Okay, let's see. wins. I'm still need a moment to search that. Okay. Oh, so 200 At least it says list of college football coaches with 200 wins.

18:55  
On he's on, he's on a very exclusive record because of the positivity that he ran his program with. And it wasn't that you can't do this. It was how can I make you the best that you can be? Alright, his

19:09  
total wins is 305. Oh, that's over 40 years.

19:14  
40 year coaching career for 300 wins a national title anywhere and he always approached it from a positive way. And so he became a mentor through all these all these players over the course of time, and they kept coming back and talking to him because he was such a great mentor. And that's that's that's the kind of role that you feel for people.

19:39  
Well, you know, and now now that we're kind of on the sports topic, I was it just caused me to reflect back to I used to supervise hockey referees in another life that that I had and there was a there was two approaches to take you when you went into the referees dressing room at the end of the game to do your debriefing you would walk in, they're all all ticked off, because they didn't make all the calls that they should have made, you could kick the garbage can, and scream and holler at them. And the other approach and the approach that I always tried to encourage people to use was to come in and sit down and say, Now what are we going to do differently next time? Without identifying that they had done something in a correct, but just saying, what are we going to do differently next time. And they became they opened up and they would start to say, I, I had one individual that was, was a police officer, and he was refereeing a game. And he was always very closed off, I could never crack him enough, I couldn't get him to open up enough to talk about his on ice performance. And I and I found a common theme it was were both police officers. And so I started to ask him a bit about that. It helped break as knock, or break as wall down, take his wall down. And he started to volunteer Well, I could have done this differently. And I should have done that. And this, and, and it was all we needed to just make the right steps in the right direction to sort of change his performance from where it was, to where it could be, which was, you know, for him, it could mean the difference between being selected for playoffs and not being selected.

21:24  
And it became a really big challenge for him to dig deep. And but it doesn't take someone like yourself, to help somebody and to ask the questions that they may not even be asking themselves, because they think it's kind of kind of a foregone conclusion that I'm not good enough. And I'm, and whatever it is, and then you have to get get in deep because there's some things that are underneath the surface that you get to the you need to work with. And you do that really well.

21:56  
Well, you know, and the other aspect I was just thinking to is as well as the aspect that I used to sometimes go in and sit down and and, you know, they turn and they look at me and I'd say very, very quietly, i All I said was You disappointed me? Oh, and I was just like shoving a knife in the heart.

22:20  
Yeah, well, you know, when you're the mentor of somebody you want, you want them to be you when you're being mentored by somebody that you that you look up to, you want to make sure that you're doing everything that you can and when you're disappointing them, I that that kind of comes close to home, that kind of hurts.

22:39  
Yeah. And I didn't have to say anything else. And it was, you know, right from that, that point on the conversation switch to where they said, Well, I'm sorry that you know, I'm sorry, I disappointed you. And here's what I'm going to do better next time. I said, Good. I'm done. My works done, I can go home now.

23:00  
You can get on your cape and go fly down fly. Yeah, you know, it's really important that we all have somebody that we can talk to, that can understand what we've gone through. Because we've all gone through stuff in life. And if you if you can have somebody as an example, I know you talk a great deal about grief, and, and the and PTSD and some of the negatives, the negative side of what happens in this lifetime. When we come back from this break, which we need to take real quick, we're going to talk about that about talking about grief and, and the dark side and how you can help somebody switch the light bulb, because this positive talk radio by the way, and so we want to do something real positive for folks to help them understand that it's a much it's just a much better way to be positive and happy and, and living your life in a you know, in a in a way that satisfies you and satisfies the people that are around you. Do you agree with that, sir? I would. Very good. So Nathan, why don't we put out the phone numbers one more time, if you would like to find out. Let's see, I've talked about a resume talk about grief talks about PTSD, talk about any of the issues that can affect your performance at work and your life at home that we can we can kind of walk you through and Doug can do. He does a great job of walking you through how to get to maybe the other side of that. Because once you're once you're in it, it's hard to see through the trees to see the other side. And so if you want to give us a call they then how do they do it?

24:35  
So mentoring is available here at 425-373-5527 or toll free at 1-888-298-5569. And we can take your call after the break.

24:47  
And we're talking with Doug Lawrence and go to his website which is talent see@er.ca And you can find out all about him. He is and we're also gonna before we get I would be remiss If we didn't talk about the book that you've got coming up, and we want to talk about that as well, but we're, you're listening to positive talk radio and we will be right back after these quick commercial messages.

25:11  
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25:48  
Hey, there, I'm excited that you're listening right now. And if you like what we're doing here, you're gonna love positive talk radio dotnet on positive talk radio dotnet each show which is recorded live is packed with positive information with real people discussing real issues and positive solutions that can work for everyone. I hope that you'll join us on positive talk radio dotnet and listen to all 340 Plus shows, I think it's worth your time. That's just me, that's positive talk radio dotnet your home for great progressive positive podcasts. And welcome back to positive talk radio. See, that wasn't too bad. Just a couple of commercials and, and one is for a natural design. And if you want to do flowers, this this holiday season, if you go to a natural design.com You're gonna get 20 bucks off by just putting in the the promo code that you should have been listening to that I can't remember what it was. But in any event, just so you can go do that. And they would have great fun. By the way, Nathan, do you know what?

26:54  
I do know what what is it? What you know, January is first month of the year?

26:59  
A very good you know, January it is for positive talk radio.

27:05  
Right? See I fire it away.

27:09  
It is our 20th anniversary of starting positive talk radio back in 2003 in January 2003. So we got some big changes coming up to we're going to institute

27:22  
tell us more?

27:24  
No, because I'll be telling you as we as we go along. But in June, January, we're going to start doing more of these on the net and, and with KK and w. So we're looking forward to some real positive things coming forward with us because I just love doing this. And I love talking to people like Doug Lawrence, who is a magical mentor, hey, that's a great, great name, I shouldn't you know, can I copyright that? It really easy is a certified, competent journey mentor. And as the mentor of mentors, as they say, and I it's great to have you here and I really appreciate it. You talk to people not just about you know, coaching and making a list and checking it twice and doing a vision board and all of that which the typical coaches what they use what they do, but, but you also talk to them in depth about what may be driving their behavior that is causing them to be less than successful, don't you?

28:22  
Yeah, I do. I, I, I've started it more and more often now is to be aware of a person's sort of stayed whereabouts they are from a mental health perspective and getting them to volunteer, you know, that sort of information through creating a safe environment for them to have that conversation. I'm doing more and more of that. And it's, I wish I could say it's rewarding, I guess it is to some extent but it's also sad in that there's so many people out there that are that are having to deal with that sometimes on their own with no support structure that there's you know, they're struggling. They there's such a big gap between when they first get professional help till two when they can get back to see that same person whether it's a social workers, counselors, psychiatrists, psychologists, why it's any one of those. It's it takes a while because they're overwhelmed. They've got so much work to do. And you just, you know, you're, you can't help but feel sad for people that are really fighting, going through trying to trying to heal when they've got no one to really turn to terror for any help or guidance.

29:52  
You know, one of the things that we've talked a great deal about here is the the hidden trauma that people go through because of what happened in their youth. And maybe they were sexually abused or sexually assaulted. But they didn't tell anybody. Because because they were scared or for whatever reason, and there are lots of reasons why you would not, you would not divulge that information to people, but then it festers in their life and it continues in their life, how do you build a safe place for somebody to be able to open up to that extent, and maybe tell you something that they haven't told anybody in the whole wide world?

30:33  
Well, and I, I have that happen with me quite a bit where people will, they'll, they'll tell me that their story, so to speak, and then at the end of it, they'll say, Oh, my goodness, I've never said, I've never told anyone else about this before. And I'm going, that's okay. That's okay. There'll be more of those stories and how I create that safe place for them to actually open up and share is, I share my own story first. And I demonstrate the vulnerability, the, you know, being humble, humility, all of those, Ellen, all those behaviors, all those feelings, that I demonstrate to them that I to, you know, have gone down that path, and I'm still here. And so let's together let's, let's have a conversation, and let's move forward and see where we can go with this.

31:32  
Why do you think it is that people look at other people in a different way than they look at themselves?

31:42  
I, you know, I think a large part of it is, it's easy to to deflect, if I can deflect the attention away from me to somebody else, then, you know, I don't have to worry about it. But that's, you know, that's not the case. What I'm finding is that I know for me, and it happened here, just recently, I, I went to the one of the big box grocery stores to because they always have a better selection of greeting cards. And so I go there, and I'm standing there, and I'm looking for cards, and all of a sudden, I get triggered, because that's something that my wife and I used to do together. And all of a sudden, I'm triggered, and I'm starting to become extremely emotional. And I'm, I'm thinking just a minute, I can't do this in front of all these people in the grocery store. I can't, I can't become emotional, I can't cry. I'm not supposed to do all that sort of stuff. And then part of me says, and why can't you write? Why can't you and it was just even being able to share that story with, you know, even with, you know, the three of us today is that that's a huge step in a in a positive direction is that if you know, we especially we as males, if we can be humble enough to be able to share those experiences to say this happened to me. And, you know, I wish they hadn't. And my response to you is, I'm glad they did. I'm glad that you have those experiences, I'm glad that you know that those emotions came pouring out of you. And you know what, it doesn't really matter what the rest of the 50 odd people that were read around the greeting card area when they think it's what you think that counts the most.

33:42  
Indeed, and I'm willing to bet that if you get emotional, like you did in the in the credit in the greeting card aisle, that there were people that were genuinely sympathetic to your pain, and, and we're interested, they may not have come up and said anything, but they were aware of it. And they were interested in it and felt compassion for you.

34:07  
Well, you know, a large part of the reason that they wouldn't come up and say anything is they don't know what to say.

34:16  
Yeah. That is so true. That is so true. You know, it's an important topic that because we, as human beings, we are in and amongst ourselves, and we don't necessarily know how to behave with other people, or what what other people are thinking or how we view other people, especially how we view people that are famous, and in the in the the limelight, and we tend to think that their lives are are so much better than ours. I mean, look at Nathan, I mean, he's, his life is so much better than ours because he's on the radio every day, and then stuff like that, but I bet you if you were to talk to him, he would have some things that he would tell Will you make him a human being that not everything is rosy and puppy dog tails? When Sure, Nathan,

35:07  
every industry has that,

35:09  
yes, and every person has that, that. And but so it's up to us to get past it, to really to really work at it and to pick up a mentor, or somebody that is close to you that I've had several, they've all been coaches ahead, they happen to have been in my life. But they have said some things to me that I've carried for 40 years or 50 years. It's, it is a man there are most of them are gone now. And but they still their words resonated with me. And just like your words resonate with people that you work with. And though the things that you say will come up again and again, when they're in different situations. Do you find that to be true?

35:52  
Yes, I definitely do. And, you know, I think that what happens for me in a lot of cases is I have people that come up to me and say, you know, all those things that you just said, that was me. Oh, and you kind of go Okay, and what do we need to do to move you past that point? Well, I, I need somebody who will listen and hear because I I keep it all inside. And you know, so But the big thing is, and I always I don't know if I should take it as a compliment or how I should take it. But when somebody comes up to me and says, you know, that was me, when I heard you talk, I went oh my gosh, that's me. That's I'm same sort of feeling same sort of everything. That was me. And so then there's a good time, you know, from from wanting something positive to be able to say that, you know, thank you for sharing that. And and now what are we going to do to move past that? And what are some of the things we can do to strengthen your support structure so that your coping mechanisms, so that you're able to get beyond even where we are today?

37:14  
You know, I like I like you, you didn't say how are you going to get past it? You didn't say what are you going to do? You said what are we going to do? While you're invested in them as a human being, and they're not no longer are they alone? That's I think is the biggest thing is when you're when you are feeling bad, you're feeling depressed, or you and and you're having grief, maybe you've lost somebody that you love, even if it's a pet, and you've lost somebody that you really care about, and you're suffering grief, and there's nobody to tell, there's nobody coming to commiserate with, it's just important to be able to have that person that you can work with that really gets you. And I know that you're working with people and you get people.

38:00  
It's it's interesting, because I was just you know, one of the things that I, I had some individuals, I think four or five of them write various sections in the one book I did. And the one person wrote about losing themselves. And how that was very, that was a very traumatic experience for them was they they lost perspective on who they were as a person. And it was, you know, it was obviously due to a relationship breakup and stuff like that. But at the end of the day, their sense of purpose had been damaged. And they they needed to sort of regroup and start to understand better who they were as a person and kind of collect all those thoughts together so that they could start to hear from from that experience.

38:58  
Why is it that we have a tendency to look at how other people view us as the gospel that teaches us to go down a bad place sometimes, rather than understanding who we are, and to take into account and not take everybody else's opinions as as gospel

39:21  
isn't not the route of least resistance. Oh, forget it. You know, in some cases, it's it's easier. I'm going through an exercise right now. And part of part of the exercise. There's a case study and stuff that I'm doing and there's all kinds when you go through and you read this case study, there's all kinds of deflections. Every time you turn around a person that's the subject of this case study, there's more and more deflections being you know, being thrown up as to why we why he shouldn't or why she shouldn't. Instead of saying Oh, Okay, what do we have to do to move forward? What are the things that I need to put into place, you know, to be able to move forward. And you know, you think, to most of your experience in life that you have most of it is, I need to communicate a lot better than what I am today, I need to be able to feel comfortable sharing how I'm feeling, and where I want to go with whoever is in that, you know, in my inner circle, or whichever, but I need to be able to do that in order to be able to move forward. And because if I can't, I'm kinda like that analogy of the the person in the closet, who can't seem to go anywhere, because they're trapped in the closet, they they're afraid to open the door, because they don't know what's on the other side. And, and, and they know they need to, or they think they need to, but they, all they want is somebody on the other side to hold their take their hand and say it's okay to come out now. And let's have a conversation about where we're going to go and how we're going to get there.

41:09  
That's wonderful advice. That's wonderful advice. Can I take a quick story? Sure. When I was a, in the restaurant business, I was in management with several companies, one of which was Garcia's in Scottsdale, they had six restaurants in the Seattle area. And I took that job as an assistant manager. And the first day that I was there, first day, the I was standing there talking to the other assistant manager. And he said, Well, you know, it's a great place to work as long as you don't mind just being an assistant manager for as long as you're here. And I said, What do you mean? He says, Well, there are only there are only six general manager spots. And those guys are committed, and they're all good. And then there are 12 guys ahead of you. So that means that your third tutor is like 13th, in the pecking order to get your own store. And so I said, Well, that's fine, I guess. And, but I didn't buy into the drama of what he was trying to tell me, because I knew in my heart, who I was and what I could do. And so I just went to work, and did what I do. And because I know that I knew at that time that I was quality. Well, one of the guys, I was in Federal Way, one of the general managers left who was in Redmond, and I got the first job. First general manager job of all the as matter of fact, this assistant manager ended up working for me, how, how tough would that have been for him. But we all have that ability. And I'm convinced that if you if you believe that you can do it. And then you work your diligently to get it done. And you help people and other people in you let other people in to help you see your blind spots that you can do virtually anything that you want to do I and I'm a firm believer in that, as I know you are as well.

43:02  
Yeah, because I do lots of work with with new managers and new supervisors and team leads. And if you just give them the tools they need to be successful, and then kind of get out of their way and let them do what they do best. You'd be surprised at what takes place

43:21  
in the indeed, and that's what but that's why a new manager needs a mentor, who can you can well, I take that back, you can but you're going to spend a whole lot of time wandering around not doing the right thing and not having a clear plan of what you're going to execute, to get to be the best that you can be and to get the most out of your people. Especially if you came from that group of people that were in that work environment, and they promoted you. And now you're the boss of the same guys that you are going to have a beer with on Friday night and saw you do some rather, you know, maybe not the best things you could have done. But you know, you only mean

44:02  
Yeah, I do. That just made me think right away, I went to one of the things that a lot of people that used to when I was managing large groups of people, and we'd have a social function, and I would always I would exit the social function before things got a little carried away. And people always would say, Well, why do you do that? And I said, Because if something goes down tonight, I need to be clear headed. And I need to also be unbias as to what took place because I'm the one that's going to have to do the discipline tomorrow.

44:40  
Exactly. Don't Don't ever go to a Christmas party. And make an ass out of yourself because that's going to come back to haunt you. If you know so it's I treat it like it's still a workplace.

44:52  
Yeah, yeah, I agree.

44:56  
So, by the way, we're talking with Doug Lawrence go to as well. website, which is talent see.ca, he is a mentor, he's an author and speaker, you're just a bit, you're just finishing up a new book, tell us about it.

45:10  
So, so I've got three books, or I will have three books gifted mentoring was my first you are not alone is my second book. And my third one that is very, very close to being finished, is the silent pandemic. And it's all the silent pandemic is an extension of you are not alone in that it touches a bit on on mental health and post traumatic stress. But it has a large, a large part of the book is written with the idea in mind of talking about cancer, and cancer actually being a pandemic, because I, where the, the idea for the book came from was my wife passed away in 2021, from cancer. And as a result of that, as I was writing this other one, you are not alone, I started to formulate some thoughts and ideas. And I thought, you know, with the the cancer being what the leading cause of death in the world today, it's a pandemic, how ever you want to define it. So let's write about it as a pandemic. And we'll see if we can orchestrate a change and get it looked at differently than then what it is today. And so that's, that should be keep your fingers crossed, and everything works. Well, I hope to about March ish of next year, I hope to be publishing the silent pandemic, while you're

46:41  
going to have to come back and when we get there, and so that we can talk about that book, because, you know, it strikes me the book title, you are not alone. I somehow I picture that ending up in the Sci Fi section, talking talking about photos and stuff like that. That's just me. That's where my mind went. I'm sorry. But, so being an author and doing what you're doing is very fulfilling work for you. And

47:10  
it is and the odd you know, the odd times that you get recognition, like with the you are not alone, Amazon number one bestseller, bronze medal recipient for the global Book Awards. That was just something that just recently happened. So every time I something like that turns around, and you know, gets brought forward, I'm going okay, you know, it's it's worth the journey.

47:40  
So if somebody wants to pick up any one of the two, the two books that are out now in the third one, which is coming, they can go to Amazon, right?

47:47  
Yep, that's correct. amazon.ca or.com, whichever you'd prefer.

47:51  
And you can pick up those books. And one of these days, you know, I do voiceovers, if you ever thought about doing an audiobook.

48:01  
So I also do book trailers, I use the I get those as well. So definitely,

48:08  
yeah, we do. We had camedia dot Pro, do all those kinds of things, because we're just that talented. And not me, by the way. I have I have people, and that's that are really, that are really cool and really talented folks. So. So if anybody's looking for that, we can provide that. And you can go to positive talk radio dotnet and contact us and we'll do we'll do some work for you. I'm sorry, I just had to throw that commercial in there, Doug. And you know,

48:36  
I've, you know, not a problem.

48:41  
So, what do you see for yourself next, or you've been doing this for 40 years? And by the way, I you have? I'm sorry? That you lost your wife?

48:53  
Yes, thank you. Yeah. You know, where do I even if I say to myself, Where do I see myself in the next five to seven years. I'm other than I may take a short break, writing, but aside from that, I love what I do. And I love making a difference in people's lives. So I'll probably do this for as long as I can. And when it if I can find somebody who can run a wheelchair for me, I'll probably keep on doing it.

49:25  
Wow, you know, there is this getting old part sucks. I just have to tell you.

49:30  
Yeah, I would agree. Yeah. I would agree when it's 50 miles, what was it here earlier this week minus 50 Celsius with the wind show. Having the no hair just didn't really work? Well for me.

49:44  
Minus 50. As see we use Fahrenheit here because we're still backwards. What does what Fahrenheit temperature would that be? 50 below?

49:53  
I'm not even sure because Isn't it the same at what is it the same at 32

49:58  
You are 32 is For You is zero, I think and it's 32 degrees for us because that's freezing. I know Nathan, because he's smarter than most of us will be able to, we'll be able to come up with that.

50:08  
So minus 50 and two Fahrenheit. Yeah. Celsius into Fahrenheit, because it'd be so cold. It was gonna say, All right, let's see what we got here. It is negative 58 Fahrenheit. Oh,

50:24  
oh, Lord, is it not only was you're headed, you're the few hairs you got left, freeze, everything else would be freezing, too. So. So it's, you know, we all live in different places. And we all love where we live, I would hope. But it's it makes it tough.

50:42  
You have to rub my hands together thinking how cool that is? No kidding.

50:45  
No kidding. I can't and can't imagine what what are the the virtues of living there? Why do you like living there?

50:54  
I must. I was born and raised in the province. I'm of Saskatchewan farm boy, who joined the Royal Canadian Mounted Police and ended up I ended up finally getting back here after 2020 some odd years. So it's, you can get pretty much anywhere in 20 minutes or less.

51:22  
Oh, which, which is good. Because everything's frozen. Yeah, yeah. Do you follow Canadian football at all? Yes, they do. Isn't this a sad Saskatchewan? Roughriders. Isn't that one of the teams? Yes. And, you know, you had one of our, in this neck of the woods, one of our favorite players of all time, was there. He was a at the University of Washington, his name was Warren Moon. Okay, yeah, played a number of years for them before he went to the NFL. I don't know why I thought of that. I just thought that I just thought of that. So,

51:59  
you know, we were trying to be positive. And then you had to bring that up where because they, you know, fan support was not great, because they weren't doing we started the season really well with I forget four or five wins in a row. And then somebody, somebody took all the equipment and hid it someplace. Because nobody showed up after that. We we didn't do very well, we didn't even make the playoffs. And we were the we were the host city for the Grey Cup Championship, which is kind of like your Super Bowl, right? So we were the host, but we were in, we were in playing in the game. So not the greatest?

52:40  
Well, I just, I just want to bring up the Seattle Seahawks just real quick, just because they have a coach, his name is Pete Carroll. And he has got a magical unique coaching style is very much in a mentoring style of what you would do, which is to take to help each individual be the best individual that they can be at whatever it is that they're doing. And his job as he sees it, is to make that happen. And so you know, there are good people like that that are coming along. Things are changing. I'm excited about that. And by the way, we're going to run out of time here in like, two minutes or so. So I want to give you an opportunity, Doug, by the way, we're talking with Doug Lawrence, go to his website, which is talent see.ca and find out all about him buy his books, and do all that I want to give you about a minute to tell our audience anything that you would like them to know, the ones that are listening now. And the ones that will be listening in the future?

53:47  
Well, you know, the big thing is that, you know, I, it's okay to reach out and ask for help. That's always been a position that I've I've tried to take is, you know, don't don't stay in the closet, you know, you need to come out of the closet, extend the hand and ask for help, because that's how we can turn what you're dealing with today from a negative into a positive, and how we can help you move forward.

54:17  
And again, we've been talking with Doug Lawrence, and thank you for being here. I've really enjoyed the conversation.

54:23  
Thank you for the opportunity. This was really good. Yes. And

54:27  
and Nathan, how come well, next time we're gonna get some callers that want to talk to somebody that can help them. So yeah, I'm just sitting here minding my own business. I don't know what I'm doing. So. So Doug, Doug Lawrence, and again, thank you so much for being here. And it was great fun. Go to his website, which is talent. see.ca. Correct. Correct. Very good. And it's it's awfully nice to have you here. I want to thank everybody for being here. On Monday, we're going to be doing a rerun of a previous show an encore presentation of a previous show because I have to get on an airplane and fly over to Spokane, Washington which I'm being I love Spokane is beautiful thing down and testified in court on Tuesday. So I've no it's not about me it's something else. So um, but I will be doing that. So we'll be running an encore presentation on Monday but thank you so much for being here, everybody. And again, Doug Lawrence, thank you so much for being our guest today. And be kind to one another because you know each other is all we've got. We'll see you on Monday on positive Talk Radio.

 

Kevin McDonaldProfile Photo

Kevin McDonald

Owner

Creator and Host of Positive Talk Radio and its Parent Company KMmedia.pro

Doug LawrenceProfile Photo

Doug Lawrence

Author/Speaker/Mentor

Doug Lawrence is the founder of TalentC® and Co-founder of the International Mentor Community.
Doug leads organizations to experience the benefits how mentoring will encourage workforce culture to flow in harmony (mentors), improve productivity from employees (mentees), reducing costly employee onboarding improving the bottom line (organizations).
Doug is an International Certified Mentor, and has obtained his Certificate of Achievement – Mentoring, his Certificate of Competence – Mentor and his Certificate of Competence – Journey Mentor from the International Mentoring Community (IMC).
Doug served in the Royal Canadian Mounted Police (RCMP) for 25 years retiring in February of 1999 at the rank of Staff Sargent. As a result of his service, Doug had Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).
Doug is a volunteer mentor with the Sir Richard Branson Entrepreneur Program in the Caribbean and with the American Corporate Partners in the United States working with military personnel in their transition from military life to civilian life. Doug has worked with researchers to examine the role of mentoring as a support for those struggling with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). His experience in law enforcement coupled with working with people suffering from PTSD has afforded him a unique view of mentoring and PTSD.
Doug is an international speaker and author about all facets of Mentoring. He published “The Gift of Mentoring” in 2014 with his second book “You Are Not Alone” published January 17th, 2022 and reaching Amazon #1 Best Seller.