Chrissi Nappe on Rebuilding Life After Divorce | 1,499

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Brichelle (0:31): And welcome to the show, everybody. My name is Kevin, and you're listening to Positive Talk Radio. Brichelle is right there. And, Brichelle, do you know what happens when you have lemons, but you wanna make it work for you in a big way?

Unknown Speaker (0:46): You make lemonade, I've heard.

Brichelle (0:49): That's exactly right. And we've got a young lady who is a coach, and she helps women who unfortunately get divorced at one point or another to turn lemons into lemonade. Her name is, Chrissy Neppi, and we will be right back with her. Stay with us, everybody, because this is going to be a really good show. There's a moment in every life when you decide to rise.

Unknown Speaker (1:17): To stand taller than your fear.

Unknown Speaker (1:20): To speak louder than your doubt.

Unknown Speaker (1:22): To chase the vision that sets your soul on fire.

Brichelle (1:26): This is that moment. And here, we walk it together with stories that awaken, voices that inspire

Unknown Speaker (1:33): And truth that set you free.

Brichelle (1:36): This is Positive Talk Radio with Kevin

Unknown Speaker (1:38): And with Brichelle.

Brichelle (1:40): Where hope has a voice And that voice is yours. And welcome to the show, everybody. I'm excited because I'm really excited because I live in Seattle, and it's actually sunny outside. And Rochelle's in Salt Lake City, and it's gonna be 90 there. And Chrissy Neppy is in Colorado, and it's a beautiful day there too.

Brichelle (2:05): That's really rare for Colorado and us too. Anyway, how is everybody today? And, Brichelle, how are you?

Chrissy Neppi (2:12): I'm very good. It's an honor to be here every day. And Chrissy Nappy, oh my gosh. The hour we get to spend with you learning about things and perspectives that many of us have maybe not even heard about before. Make sure that you're following along everybody.

Chrissy Neppi (2:28): She has a website, lemonade-life-coaching.com is where you can go to follow along with us. Chrissy, thank you for being here. How is Colorado treating you today?

Unknown Speaker (2:39): Hi. Hi, Kevin. Hi, Brachelle. Colorado is sunny and beautiful today. And I will tell you just last week I went to my son's lacrosse game and it got canceled because we were covered in snow.

Unknown Speaker (2:54): We had a major snowstorm and it was so bad it broke all the trees in our neighborhood And it looked like a tornado went through our neighborhood. So that's Colorado for you. We had a terrible snowstorm and then today it's sunny and beautiful, I think somewhere in the eighties or so. So I'm not complaining.

Brichelle (3:13): It is it's kinda like Colorado's got one of those multiple personality places.

Unknown Speaker (3:20): We do. We call it we call it bipolar because it's it's one thing one day, another thing another day, and you never know. You never know from day to days. A bipolar weather pattern.

Chrissy Neppi (3:29): You know what's interesting, Kevin, is, like, in Utah Valley, we thought that it was that way too. You'll hear people say that, but it's not the case because in Colorado, you can literally drive maybe five minutes down the road, whole different scenario and scene. You can see the towns in their different weathers. And so Yeah. That is a very interesting thing.

Chrissy Neppi (3:47): But I'm glad to have you here today and to talk about your work. What exactly is it would you call it that you do?

Unknown Speaker (3:54): Well, I would say I'm a divorce recovery coach for Catholic moms. But how I got here is a story. It's a story in and of itself.

Brichelle (4:07): Well, and you have experience with what you coach about and that is an important aspect of the work that you do because you have been through the wars as it were.

Unknown Speaker (4:20): Exactly, exactly. I started my whole adult life was on the foundation of my marriage. I was a very devoted Catholic wife and mom and it was the joy of my life, the privilege of my life, the honor of my life. I was all in, all in. My husband and I had been married for twenty eight years and I was a stay at home mom to our four children and I was a homeschooling mom to our youngest child at the time.

Unknown Speaker (4:56): I had homeschooled him from first grade to fifth grade, which was one of the most joyous experiences of my life. It really was hardest thing I've ever done, but one of the best things I've ever done. And yeah, I was just all in as that wife and mom, and I was very committed to my marriage, to the sacrament, to my vows. There was some trouble in the marriage at that time, but we just always things that you think you're gonna get past and it turned out to not be that way. My marriage ended basically after twenty eight years in one weekend.

Unknown Speaker (5:47): It wasn't a long drawn out kind of thing, it was one weekend that changed everything and there was a certain level volatility and danger there that the police had to be called and we had to leave our home with my three kids. I have four kids but one of them was in Texas but we left our home with kids and I did along with our dog and we had to go stay somewhere for the weekend and it was nothing that had ever happened before but it was one of those things that was unrecoverable. You know, it was unrecoverable. And I had filed for legal separation in the hopes that time and space, you know, would save our family and help our family and allow us you know to get back on track to where we were. But he ended up filing for divorce and so I was now in this situation where I had no college degree at the time, I had no career to fall back on and I didn't have a dollar to my name outside of the marriage and now I'm facing the unthinkable.

Unknown Speaker (7:04): I'm facing the end of my family and I'm facing divorce. And so that was my life about six and a half years ago.

Brichelle (7:13): Well, on making lemonade out of lemons. By the way, I had a dream the other day and I was talking to somebody who had five kids and I made a joke and I wanna know if it was funny or not or was it just my dream? And it was the joke went like, okay. You got four kids. When you get mad, you have to call them in order, or do you know which one you're talking to right away?

Unknown Speaker (7:40): I just kinda go like this. Because most of the time, I mix up their names. I still do that. So I'm just like, you. They know.

Unknown Speaker (7:50): So that was

Unknown Speaker (7:51): that was a legitimately funny thing to to do for my to drink a conjure.

Unknown Speaker (7:56): Exactly. Exactly.

Brichelle (7:59): Well, and first of all, I'm so sorry that that happened to you because there's nothing worse than having what you thought was a twenty eight year stable relationship and you had your your job as it were and by the way, being a homemaker and raising four kids ain't in ease especially homeschooling one is not an easy thing anyway. And then suddenly your whole world is turned upside down. And you have to figure out how you're going to live and how you're gonna feed the children and how it's gonna and all of that stuff. So congratulations on turning lemons into lemonade.

Unknown Speaker (8:43): Yes, thank you very much. And it can be done. Maybe one of the hardest things you ever do, but the whole reason why I do this work is it can be done. There is life on the other side of that. There is hope.

Unknown Speaker (8:55): There's a new life, and you get to be the author of that. You get to co create, you know, with God in doing that. And it it's a it it can be a beautiful journey.

Brichelle (9:07): And even though Rochelle is just a wee little one, she she had she had an eight year relationship, and and that that ended after a period of time. So you have an idea of what Chrissy went through and what she's talking about. Right?

Chrissy Neppi (9:22): Yeah. In some way, shape, or form. And what's very interesting is that's what turned me more towards God, towards the divine, towards the energy, and realizing that there was more than me. Because if I didn't have him, what did I have? Who was I and why and what did that mean?

Chrissy Neppi (9:41): We had been through miscarriage, so I didn't have any children I was taking on with me, which added another layer as even having a child may. And then, you know, the the your mind and everywhere that goes and everything that that leads to I hit a point for sure where I realized that I didn't wanna live if I was gonna live that way anymore. And I didn't know how I was gonna do it, but I knew that I was willing. And I was just thinking about this before we started the show, Chrissy, was Yeah. Sitting in my bedroom, moving back to my mom's, and thinking this is not what I thought my life was going to look like at this age.

Chrissy Neppi (10:20): Yes. And focusing, I think the first thing I realized was love. We talk a lot lately about how there's only love and fear, and I thought for the longest time, I didn't like love. And I recognized where I had fallen short, where I had gone wrong. I saw where I was not just the victim in the situation of our separation from each other.

Chrissy Neppi (10:46): And it allowed me to heal and to let go and to forgive and do all of these things. But the number one thing it allowed was love to still be there, and that was the thing I had struggled with the most. Is that pretty common?

Unknown Speaker (11:02): Well, yeah. I mean, the devastating part, you know, everybody so many people go through divorce. You know? I mean, it's just it's just part of, you know, part of our culture, part of everything. So many people go through it.

Unknown Speaker (11:15): But there's a difference from when you know that there's problems and it's been ongoing long term and you've tried therapy and you've tried counseling and you come to the conclusion and the realization that this marriage just isn't working, you know. And you both come with clarity and resolve and you choose, you know to take the next step and that is super heartbreaking and super painful, you know but there's another side of that, there's another angle of that where you're blindsided and you didn't see it coming and you didn't plan for it, you didn't have the clarity and the resolve and that's a whole different type of wound and it requires a whole different type of healing and approach. And the reason why and that's why I make that distinction in the work that I do But the reason why that is so, such a different experience is that it fractures five things at once. It fractures your identity, it fractures your sense of spirituality, it fractures your sense of community whether it's when you're in parish and social, it fractures your vocational identity and it fractures your future. Everything that you thought your life was gonna be and everything you thought, know, your whole plan for the rest of your life, it fractures all five of those at the same time.

Unknown Speaker (12:54): And that's what's particularly devastating when you don't see it coming. You have no time to prepare for that. But you know back to your question, you know it's a very, very brave soul that who will still seek love after such a loss like that. You know and that's what I chose, that's what you chose and you know

Unknown Speaker (13:24): Sometimes, oh my gosh. Absolutely.

Unknown Speaker (13:30): And some people do, some people don't. Some people want to, some people don't. It's everyone, it's their own journey. But I commend you for focusing on that piece of it and that piece of it sounds like it led you to something much deeper.

Chrissy Neppi (13:48): Yeah. At least you have yourself no matter the rest.

Unknown Speaker (13:52): Yes. Have to relearn who that is, though. You have to relearn who that is aside from the relationship or aside from the marriage.

Unknown Speaker (14:01): Yeah. It's continuous for sure.

Brichelle (14:04): Well, and the work that you do, you do a lot of work with people of the Catholic faith.

Unknown Speaker (14:10): Mhmm.

Brichelle (14:10): And and and a couple of things. First of all, when you have been married for twenty eight years, all of your friends are couples. Basically.

Unknown Speaker (14:20): Yep. Yep. Yes, sir.

Brichelle (14:22): Maybe the odd one person or another person but mostly, you're you've bonded with a bunch of couples. Now all of a sudden, you're the third wheel as it were. And sometimes that doesn't work well with with the other woman of the of of the couple that you're friends with because now you are quote unquote available and there could be there's there's that whole thing and and plus the fact that you're by yourself and and all of that. So, it makes it very difficult and then, there's a faith component to that that we need to talk about as well that you help people with. But first, we have a gentleman that we wanna introduce to you and Christy, I have to tell you, we had a show that we did earlier today and she is a humanitarian, and she works with people in Africa.

Brichelle (15:18): One of which is in Kenya, which is where the gentleman is from. And he and go ahead, Rochelle.

Chrissy Neppi (15:26): Hi, Samuel. Samuel Nyandika here to say greetings, brother Kevin McDonald, sister Rochelle, and guest Chrissy Nappy received greetings from Kiberia Restoring Hope Center based in the slums of Nairobi, Kenya. This is our favorite program, Positive Talk Radio Show. We are watching live. Thank you team for highlighting our weekly feeding program, No Child Goes to Bed Hungry to the World in partnership with Sparrows Landing Global Incorporated.

Chrissy Neppi (15:53): God bless positive talk radio show host, and together we are strong. Thank you for being here, Samuel. I loved how your daughter accidentally called me over the weekend. That just made my heart warm. And I hope that we do get in the call for the next feeding that we've got coming in this next Friday and Saturday for you guys.

Chrissy Neppi (16:14): But there's lots to learn in all walks of life from different people going through different things, and different cultures, and different ways that we're raised, and how we have our beliefs structured. And I think that through all spirituality, and religions, and all these things, marriage is a big deal. It's not something that we take lightly, and I do think that is very important. Do you think so, Chrissy?

Unknown Speaker (16:40): Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. You know? And and most most everybody would acknowledge that and stuff, but but in the Catholic tradition, it's it's it's elevated to sacrament and it's very, very sacred. We understand as Catholics that when we marry somebody that it is for life and that it is a union blessed by God and you are making a covenantal oath with that person in front of God and the witnesses and so forth.

Unknown Speaker (17:13): It's a covenantal oath more so than just a contract. Well, we'll see if it works and if it doesn't, we know what to do, you know? And so little bit, it's different than that, yes, it should be as it should be, you know? It's like families depend on that, societies depend on that, you know. We all wanna see healthy families and so people, you know, should enter that union with a lot of, you know, weight and seriousness and consideration.

Brichelle (17:43): Well, Chrissy, I was married for twenty four years. I like to say it was the best six months of my life. And when we said the vows in front of 200 of our closest and not so close friends, it was and there was and we specifically put until death do you part in there because that was going to be and I've never married since. I've been married once for that for and that's part of that reason. Apparently, one of us forgot about that particular vow.

Unknown Speaker (18:23): That happens.

Brichelle (18:25): And and as and that's why I talked about couple friends because they all left.

Unknown Speaker (18:32): Exactly. Have you hanging out at the same time if you're not together anymore, I suppose.

Unknown Speaker (18:38): Exactly. No. You're Go

Unknown Speaker (18:41): ahead.

Unknown Speaker (18:42): Your whole social structure evaporates. And it's hard. And then you have to think about, I realized, I'm like, oh my gosh, like, I have to make a whole new set of friends and I have to make a whole new set of friends. And it's not that they turn their backs on me or anything like that, but it's just, it's different. It's different and your whole social structure at your parish.

Unknown Speaker (19:11): I was at my parish, I lived in Oregon before I lived here. I was very involved in my parish. I was on the pastoral council. I built the adult education program at my parish and started this whole initiative called Strong Catholic Families and we were that model family and we were that family that, and my husband at the time was very involved in youth sports and at the school and chess club. We were that family that everyone was like, how do you guys do it?

Unknown Speaker (19:52): And what's your secret? And we were just very involved in our community and even to our kids, that we had had that ideal family and that was their experience growing up. And so, you know, divorce happens in a situation like that, it just everything blows up. Know, your social circles, your parish, as you know it and the shame that goes along with that, the embarrassment, the humiliation is very real and it's very deep. And to recover from something like that, it's not easy.

Brichelle (20:39): Well, and and sadly, sometimes they say, well, they must have, she must have had some role in it. They must have done something wrong and it wasn't wasn't everything that they perceive that we perceived it to be because it was and and so all of these things start and that becomes a great big storm. Do you know what that means, Rochelle?

Unknown Speaker (21:03): I do.

Chrissy Neppi (21:04): Chrissy, you were gonna show you something, and you gotta tell me what you think of it when we come back. But we're gonna show you this little message, but make sure everybody you know that lemonade-life-coaching.com is available and waiting for you or somebody you love that maybe could use some information and some tools and tricks to work with Chrissy. Take a look at this we call the storm, and let us know what you think.

Brichelle (21:30): Okay. Boy, you you must be psychic. Here's another point to ponder by Positive Talk Radio. A sailor in a storm once battled waves so fierce, they nearly sank his ship. He discovered storms, they don't last forever, but strong sailors do.

Brichelle (21:51): Life will shake you, test you, and even try to break you. But if you hold steady and keep moving forward, the skies will clear. And when they do, you will see how powerful you have become. You are listening to Positive Talk Radio, where stories of hope come alive. And, Chrissy, I just have to tell you.

Brichelle (22:12): For first of all, what did you think of that?

Unknown Speaker (22:15): That's the whole point of life.

Unknown Speaker (22:19): Name it.

Brichelle (22:21): Well said, well said. Well, and and and the thing is, is that not only did you have yourself to worry about and you had to go figure out how you're gonna make money but you had four children that were also deeply involved in the entire thing. And that's another consideration altogether because it affected five people rather than not just one. And and it becomes it becomes a really difficult thing. But just like in the storm the the waves will clear and you will survive and you made it work for you.

Brichelle (23:02): Congratulations on what you were able to do and what you are doing now to help others who are where you were.

Unknown Speaker (23:11): Exactly, exactly. I'm a little bit ahead and it's in my past, but not too far that I don't remember what it was like. Being a mom and that's specifically why I wanted to help Catholic moms. It's a whole different level because not only are you just walking around in a fog and you don't even know where, you don't even know how to begin to help yourself. You want to help yourself, you're willing to help yourself, you will help yourself but what do you do?

Unknown Speaker (23:45): Read a book? What do you do when you're in that situation? Where do you even start? And then not only that, you know you have to help yourself and you have to be well. You've got four kids that are, or any amount of kids that are heartbroken and devastated

Unknown Speaker (24:06): Listen to you.

Unknown Speaker (24:08): And we've all been thrust into this new reality we didn't ask to be in, know, and we're, how do I help me help them? How do I help them? I don't, I've never, how do I help them through divorce? I had never been divorced before, you know, and how do I answer those tough questions? And I had kids that my oldest was, I think she was about 24, 25 at the time, my youngest was 11.

Unknown Speaker (24:38): And then I had a young 20 and a teenager, a 16 year old at the time. So not only I had to understand how do you approach helping your kids, your adult children, how do you approach helping your teenage children, how do you approach helping your younger children? You know, and so, and each one requires a different approach, you know, and then there, you know, you still have to get dinner on the table, you you still have to drive to football practice, you still have to go to parent teacher conferences. You still have to do all the things that you do as a mom, you're kind of walking around like a zombie and you're also trying to help your children heal so that on the, it was one of the biggest fears that I'll just, people can probably relate to this. My biggest, biggest fear about getting divorced was, my children are going to go off the rails.

Unknown Speaker (25:38): They're going to take that left turn in life and here they are on this path of success and achievement. They're doing great in school. They've got lots of great friends and they've got everything going for them. They're college bound. They're A students and they're doing terrific and all of a sudden, you throw this divorce in the middle of their lives, what's going to become of them?

Unknown Speaker (26:03): And I remember watching this show years ago called Intervention. It was about, you know the show?

Unknown Speaker (26:11): Yeah, I remember that show.

Unknown Speaker (26:13): Okay, good. Okay, everybody's story and it was all about the intervention when you're trying to help someone go into treatment when they have an addiction, right?

Unknown Speaker (26:24): Yep.

Unknown Speaker (26:24): Every story I saw when they were talking about what happened to them, they all said, well, my parents got divorced when I was blank. And I thought that I don't want that to happen to my kids. I don't want them to go off the rails and get into all the things that kids get into when they don't know how to cope with what's happened to their life. And that was my biggest worst fear and so it was, I guess I can say by the grace of God that somehow we stayed intact and landed on our feet.

Brichelle (27:04): Well, it's also by the grace of God but it's also by the grace of Here, Christy. Because you being a mom who was have thrust into that situation and you were able to work through it. And so, I mean, hey, it's as simple as you've got two people that are that are co managing the house. All of a sudden, you take one away. It's almost like a death in the family.

Brichelle (27:25): It's almost like becoming a widow. And then all of a sudden, if he pays the bills, now you're paying the bills. It's like, where the heck do all the bill? Where's the checkbook? And where if you even use a checkbook and all the things that you have to learn and that and then the kids, they're thinking, especially the younger ones, thinking that they had something to do with it, that it might have been partially their fault.

Brichelle (27:52): And the 24 year old is kind of off on her own a little bit, but she's still and then and I hope this didn't happen in your case but in my case, it did and then, one of the parents openly lies to the children about what happened and why it happened and then the kids are confused because they're getting what their eyes saw something and then, but they're being told that that wasn't true. And so that became, then that became another issue that they had to work through and that we all had to deal with. And I hope everybody was, it doesn't matter, but you know what I mean? There's just so much.

Unknown Speaker (28:37): Oh, it's very much so. Yeah, yeah, it's very layered, very complicated. And some people, know, God bless them, they're able to have an amicable divorce and they're able to co parent really well and they're able to do all those things and still have those lines of communication open. I wish that was my case, but it wasn't. And so you do the best you can with what you got and you just, you know, I just was very open and honest and truthful to the extent that I could be and you know, a lot of times too and I just want to give a shout out to adult children out there who are, who everyone tends to think, oh they're adults, they'll be fine.

Unknown Speaker (29:29): They'll have their own life, they're busy, you know? And it's devastating for them. Everything that they thought they knew, the foundation that they thought they had, the reality that they thought their family was, is now all of a sudden something totally different and a lot of times people overlook adult children because they think, Oh, they're fine but they're not. Divorce is devastating. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy, I really wouldn't.

Unknown Speaker (30:02): It's devastating for everybody involved, even the extended family. It's devastating for everybody but it does happen. I mean, let's be real. Nobody gets married thinking they're going to get divorced, you know? But it does happen and when it does happen, what are you gonna do?

Unknown Speaker (30:22): Are you gonna survive the storm or are you gonna succumb to the storm and just exist and become a sure of a person?

Brichelle (30:31): Well, Michelle, when you when life gives you lemons, what do you do?

Unknown Speaker (30:37): You make brownies. I'm just

Unknown Speaker (30:39): Oh, that works too. Brownies work every time. You could do a lot

Chrissy Neppi (30:45): of things. You could slush it. You could freeze it and throw it at the wall. See, my brain already wants get aggressive, but I know that there's probably many things you can do with lemonade or lemons, and a lot of us are sitting there looking at maybe lemons that are rotted, and we need new lemons in the first place so that we can get to the step of making something with them.

Brichelle (31:13): Well, and we by the way, we're talking with Chrissy Nap. Napi. Napi. That's right.

Unknown Speaker (31:19): Yeah. You must have

Unknown Speaker (31:19): been. I'm sorry.

Brichelle (31:22): And she's got a website, Prichelle. She's a coach, and she helps predominantly Catholic women that are going through the heartbreak of divorce and to to recover who they are and to move forward in a real positive way. Because at the end of the day, you don't do it just for yourself, you do it for your kids, you do it for your family and ultimately you do it for yourself as well. So her website would be

Chrissy Neppi (31:52): Yes, her website is lemonadelifecoaching.com. And tell us about the website a little bit, Chrissy, and why you chose that name, if you would.

Unknown Speaker (32:03): Well, it's interesting. I didn't want a website with my name, and I didn't want a website with geography. You know what I mean? Because Mhmm. You never know.

Unknown Speaker (32:15): I can

Unknown Speaker (32:15): you know, I'm going to be moving in the fall. And so I didn't want it associated with geography, and I didn't want it associated with my name. My name is hard enough, as you can tell. So that was it. And so I thought just something that symbolized my intention.

Unknown Speaker (32:35): And that's the thing is like, you know, I am my mother's daughter. I will say that my mother is a I'm a survivor. I do not believe in giving up ever, ever for anything. And so that is my whole point is to, know, when you think life is over, you know, to how do you pull through that and choose to survive, it's a choice. How do you pull through that and then learn how to construct a life you truly love?

Unknown Speaker (33:08): You know and that's what I'm living now. I'm living a life I truly love and I call it you know, call, put it this way, I I coined this phrase before Donald Trump did and I called it my big beautiful life. And then he called it his big beautiful tax cut. I was calling it that, you know, way long time ago and it's like, and that's what I've done is I've built a big beautiful life for myself. And what that means for me, I mean, maybe other people could look at my life and say, yeah, no thanks.

Unknown Speaker (33:40): And that's fine. It's nothing big, it's nothing grand, it's very simple. But for me what that means is that I go to bed at peace every night and I wake up in the morning and I'm happy to live the life that I have. And that to me is a big beautiful life. And now I have my kids, have our family is intact and I have my friends.

Unknown Speaker (34:11): And so I just want other women to know and even though I focus specifically on Catholic women, that's my own background and that's the path that I walked. In any Christian denomination of women are welcome. They're more than welcome, more than welcome here. And where the action steps in my program are specifically Catholic, they could just adapt it to whatever their faith traditions are. So anyone who resonates with that type of message is welcome.

Brichelle (34:48): Well, and tell me if I'm wrong, but the work that you do, you start really by planting a seed. And, Prashell, would that be true if she was planting seeds? She could be she could be Chrissy Appleseed for but so I wanna play

Unknown Speaker (35:11): it again. To plant the seed for it to sprout. Yes.

Unknown Speaker (35:14): Yes. And you have to water it. And

Unknown Speaker (35:19): check this out and see what you think. Here's another point to ponder by Positive Talk Radio. A tiny seed was buried in the dirt, covered in darkness, forgotten by the world. But within that darkness, it grew roots, then sprouted into something beautiful. The seasons of struggle you face are not endings.

Unknown Speaker (35:41): They're beginnings. Trust that growth is happening even when you cannot see it. You're listening to Positive Talk Radio where stories of hope live. And we're talking with Chrissy Nappy. Go to our website again, Rochelle, which is?

Chrissy Neppi (35:59): Which is lemonade-life-coaching.com.

Unknown Speaker (36:05): And I gotta ask you, Chrissy, after this horrible event happened

Unknown Speaker (36:11): Mhmm.

Brichelle (36:12): How long was it before you in your own mind were able to regather your wits about you and decide, okay, if this is the lemons I'm dealt, hell with it, I'm gonna make lemonade and proceeded to do that. Was it six months? Was it a year? Was it were you or you probably did not have that kind of time. So you had to you had to, as we say, pivot and to move it forward in virtually instantaneously.

Unknown Speaker (36:46): That's an interesting question. So here's how I would answer it. The decision was made instantly because I am a survivor and I knew that I was somehow, someway, someday, I was going to make sure I was okay. So the decision was soon, it took me several years to figure out what and how and to find my way through that and it took several years and I did a lot of the same things that other women do in that situation. I had already been going to so much counseling and therapy and there were times where I was going three times a week because I just couldn't cope, you know and I was going three times a week, was probably spending a thousand dollars that I didn't have a month on it but I just couldn't find my way, I couldn't get my footing.

Unknown Speaker (37:48): Actually to be honest and this is kind of where I get some of my inspiration, it was a life coach that I was working with who really, really helped me. And it wasn't anything big or grand or this amazing thing. He just slowly, gently over time just helped me reconnect with myself and in doing so I didn't realize how much I had disappeared out of my marriage. And just little things he would have me do that he really made me think about, well what do I think about that? You know, and just the assignments he would give me and the homework, he really made me reconnect with myself and that became kind of a basis from which to operate.

Unknown Speaker (38:43): And I remember one time, so I made the decision, I'm gonna get through this and I'm gonna do everything in my power to get my kids through this. That was right away. But shortly thereafter, after we had to sell our house, we had to move out, we had to just rearrange our whole life but I remember once that was all settled, I sat on the couch and I'm like, okay, I feel like I've been living in the basement of my life for so long and I've been living on the sidelines of my life for so long. I didn't even know how to, well anyways, I thought what I want now, I wanna be fully alive. I wanna live life, I wanna be fully alive.

Unknown Speaker (39:30): And I started thinking, well, what does that look like mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually? And I went through and I really, really brainstormed and thought in each of those categories, what would it mean to feel fully alive mentally, fully alive emotionally? And I kind of thought to myself, it was just kind of listening to my heart, you know, and I thought, I wrote it all down in all four of those categories and I kind of started doing those things. Slowly but surely just kind of started I guess climbing out of the basement of life and started you know seeing the sun for the first time, know that kind of thing and then you know some friends would you know come out to me and so and so I know is going through the same thing, you know, can you talk to her? Can you talk to her?

Unknown Speaker (40:22): And my friend's going through this and they're going through that and, oh, they would I would love it if you could talk

Chrissy Neppi (40:27): to

Unknown Speaker (40:27): them. So it kinda got put in on my mind like, I don't know, maybe I can help others with this. Know, maybe there's a path for me where I can help others. And that's the good that can come out of something that's so horrible. And so that's my new purpose now is to help others who are going through the same thing.

Unknown Speaker (40:51): And I had people making sure that I didn't fall through. The cracks had never come out and now it's kind of my job to make sure that I can pull others and they don't fall through the cracks either. You know? So

Brichelle (41:06): You know, it is it's an important thing that you just said, isn't it, Rochelle?

Chrissy Neppi (41:11): Yeah. I think it majorly because you wouldn't have seen the version of yourself without that having to happen that you didn't know was possible. Do you have maybe you realized that or other women that are like, Chrissy, I would have never found myself or I would have never been able to do this or, you know, I I thought that that was gonna be the end of me, but that was the beginning of my life. If you heard things like that, there was actually, like, in some sort of way, this was a blessing?

Unknown Speaker (41:43): Yeah. Well, here's the thing. That's interesting because I can't tell you how much myself, my kids, my friends, my parents, we stormed heaven like heaven's never been stormed before. With prayers and novenas and rosaries and chaplains of divine mercy and on my knees in prayer that God would spare I'm our like, surely he doesn't want this. Surely, surely this isn't his Of course he wants all families to stay together, right?

Unknown Speaker (42:20): And it was, I just, I couldn't believe that it was happening. I mean, was such a disconnect from reality and everything that my whole entire adult life and everything I stood for and stood on and everything. And then you go through the years of fog and stuff like that and I look at my life today and I'm like, Oh God, in your wisdom, you knew there was something better for me. I couldn't see it, feel it, know it, but you do. And all I had to do was just show up and trust.

Unknown Speaker (42:58): And we just show up and trust and trust that God's got us even if he doesn't clue us in on what he's doing. You know? He's still

Unknown Speaker (43:09): starting to think that's the point.

Unknown Speaker (43:11): Exactly. Exactly.

Unknown Speaker (43:13): Have you ever heard of the 50,000 foot view?

Unknown Speaker (43:19): Kinda sorta? Yeah? What? Well,

Brichelle (43:22): audiences, I haven't told this story in a little while. So bear with me here. But the 50,000 foot view is not the view that we have. We are in the forest and we get to see the tree in front of us and the tree behind us. And we are walking forward because we're trusting that this is the way we're supposed to go.

Brichelle (43:42): And occasionally, the guy or gal or whoever has a fifty, zero foot view has a understanding of where we're headed, where we're going, and how we're gonna get there. And they're guiding us to through the forest into the meadow to where we will be happy. And it takes time. Sometimes we start walking in the wrong direction and we get nudged back into the right direction. And other times we're just taking one step at a time.

Brichelle (44:12): Always trusting that with somebody has our back and they're interested in our well-being. So, they have the fifty, zero foot view. We have got the tree in front of us and the tree behind us and we and so, we just have to trust that everything's gonna be working for our benefit because that's the design.

Unknown Speaker (44:32): Right, and you will not see it when you're in it. You can't, you only see it with hindsight. You know? And sometimes, and this is what's really hard, sometimes we won't know this side of heaven, what the purpose was, what that was meant for, why did we go through that? Sometimes we will, sometimes we'll be able to see it in hindsight, but sometimes we won't.

Unknown Speaker (44:55): But the question that I think every single person has is to the question of, do you trust me? And that's God asking us, do you trust me? And sometimes I'm like, yep, and sometimes like, no. This doesn't make sense, but the most part, you know, like you said, Kevin, it's like we have to trust that God is good, and he's looking out for us. And that there's a reason that we we're on a need to know basis.

Unknown Speaker (45:30): And sometimes we'll understand the reason, and sometimes we won't. But either way, he's got us either way.

Unknown Speaker (45:38): And the interesting thing about that, Rochelle, is that sometime just like a sunrise.

Unknown Speaker (45:44): That always comes again. Right?

Brichelle (45:47): It shows up every day. And and, Chrissy, what do you think about these little thirty second things that we're playing? Do you like them?

Unknown Speaker (45:55): I do. Great messages. Great messages. They are messages of hope. Know?

Unknown Speaker (46:01): It's it's so much easier to drown. It's it's a lot harder and takes a lot more courage to hope. So I like them.

Brichelle (46:10): And that is what you do. Let me play this for you because the sun will rise. Here's another point to ponder by Positive Talk Radio. After the longest night, the sun rose again. It painted the sky with colors no

Unknown Speaker (46:29): one

Brichelle (46:29): had seen before. That's how life works. Darkness never lasts forever. No matter how long the night feels, your sunrise will come. Hold on.

Unknown Speaker (46:39): Light always finds its way back. You're listening to Positive Talk Radio, where stories of hope live. And by the way, we're talking with Chrissy Neppi. What did you think of that one?

Unknown Speaker (46:54): I liked it, but I just had this I I was a little distracted. I have to admit, I'm gonna be honest. I want I wonder if my microphone was muted.

Brichelle (47:06): Yeah. Your microphone was muted during the that that that happens during the when we play one of those.

Unknown Speaker (47:13): Okay. Pardon my ignorance. I was thinking I was muted this whole time. No. No.

Unknown Speaker (47:19): You're good. Okay. Sorry.

Unknown Speaker (47:21): That means we'd be talking to I don't know. Either that

Brichelle (47:25): or we are hell of a lip readers, and they and we're not that. So no.

Unknown Speaker (47:30): You I thought maybe you could hear me, but nobody else could. So pardon me. I'm sorry. I I I just thought the microphone microphone was muted. So I was a little distracted.

Brichelle (47:38): No. No. No. Pardon necessary. This is and by the way, I just wanted to tell you that I know you haven't done a lot of these, but you're doing fabulously well.

Unknown Speaker (47:48): Thank you.

Unknown Speaker (47:49): Yeah. You'll never know.

Unknown Speaker (47:51): Talk to you guys, and I'm I'm so hap you know, this is my passion. This is my life's work. I'm I'm happy to talk about it.

Brichelle (47:58): As well you should because it's and by the way, I just wanted to and, Rochelle, I think this is true, and I'd love for you to expand on it, is that Chrissy, there are people that are in your world or know of you that you may not have talked to, that you may not be their coach. You should be, and everybody needs a coach. But you are having an impact on people that you don't, you may not even know you're having an impact on them in a very positive way. And so that's part of the your mission that you're on. Do you agree, Rochelle?

Chrissy Neppi (48:32): Yeah. 100%. Let me tell you why. Chrissy, actually, she's gotta know. She can't deny that because on her website, it says, life beyond the lemons.

Chrissy Neppi (48:42): Sometimes we just think we're gonna sit there with those rotting lemons and not a damn thing might change someday, but Chrissy is here to build a has built a support system and a space of peace and understanding where you're welcome. She says you don't have to choose between healing and your faith. You can have both. So knowing that coming in is real nice. Thank you for creating this and turning your lemons into gosh.

Chrissy Neppi (49:10): There's gotta be something better than lemonade. I'll think of something. But in the meantime, can you tell, everybody listening in what where to go, what to expect, and everything that you have to offer on lemonade-life-coaching.com.

Unknown Speaker (49:25): Well, what I did after I as

Unknown Speaker (49:29): I

Unknown Speaker (49:29): told you, through all the things that I had done to rebuild my life and all the things that I had done to start a new chapter of my life, I went back and I started thinking that I wonder if there's a way for me to help others through the same thing. So I created a program, it's called Faithful and Free that is on my website and there's quite a lot of explanation on it so people can feel free to go and read more about it. But I kind of took stock in inventory of everything that I had done that was helpful and useful. And anyways, I created it into a program and it's a fourteen week online program. But it unfolds in three phases.

Unknown Speaker (50:20): It unfolds with surviving the aftermath and then rebuilding and then rising. So there's a few weeks spent in each section but I created what I call the sacred restoration method which is spiritual grounding, emotional healing, practical tools and community support. And I believe all four of those things working together is what helps people come through this. And here's something that I do wanna address because it's like I said in the beginning, so many people try so many different things, you know, and the obvious one is counseling and therapy. Then the next obvious one is pastoral care and priests.

Unknown Speaker (51:08): And then the next obvious one is support groups. And then it's friends and family and then it's books and it's all these different things. But unless you address all five things at once that were shattered, that foundation that was shattered, you're gonna fix some pieces but not others and it's not gonna come together altogether, there's still gonna be broken pieces. And so in my program, faithful and free, I address that. I address those five foundational fractures inside of you know the community support, practical tools, spiritual grounding and emotional healing.

Unknown Speaker (51:51): So it kind of all came together in this program and it's a fourteen week online program and it includes the whole entire course with the action steps but then I also have a Facebook group that it's a community group just for program members where we can talk and share and celebrate our wins and we can ask advice and support and all those things and then there's three one on one calls with me at different points in the program so I can check-in personally with how my clients are doing and stuff. So all of that's in that signature program of faithful and free and people can read more about it. It's hard to kind of go into too much detail here but people can read about it on my website or or call or send me an email or ask questions. Awesome.

Brichelle (52:42): And that that is, at your website again, Rochelle, which is?

Chrissy Neppi (52:46): Which is lemonade dash life dash coaching, and I figured it out, Chrissy. You didn't make lemonade. You cut that lemon up, and you tasted it, and then you put it in some fruit, and you tried it with a few other things. And then you said, wait. If I use all these, I won't have more.

Chrissy Neppi (53:03): So you decided to plant that seed and grow those trees and created for more than yourself, which became a community, which you're doing now in your life coaching. So bless you for doing that. I can't imagine how many women are actually out there thinking that that is just the end and there's no more, but really it is just transition period and you are there to help them. Kevin, isn't that kinda cool? Because guys need that too.

Brichelle (53:31): That's very cool because it would have been interesting. It would have been nice. I mean, I got divorced in 2007. Ah. And at that particular moment, I, by the way, Chrissy, I have the distinction of getting married on 05/21/2000, no, 1983 and got divorced on May 21.

Brichelle (53:57): To 2007. So the same, so it was exactly twenty four years. Wow. And stuff. So, but I, the question I have for you is, because of that and the fact that I've never had a successful romantic relationship in my entire life apparently.

Unknown Speaker (54:16): And so I decided to give it up. And I'm perfectly happy just giving it up and letting it be. And I don't I don't have to worry about anybody else sleeping on the couch because I'm snoring too loud or any mess. So makes so would would your advice be to someone like me? It's like, boy go, boy.

Unknown Speaker (54:36): Just do what you wanna do and and and live life the way you want it. And if you don't want another relationship, don't.

Unknown Speaker (54:43): It's it's whatever your heart's desire is. It's whatever your heart's desire is. You know? If your heart if you are perfectly happy and you feel fulfilled and your your heart's desire is to that's the way life makes sense to you, then then by all means, you're doing exactly what you're supposed to be doing. You know?

Unknown Speaker (55:01): And and if if you desire other things, then you can take a look at those other things.

Brichelle (55:06): Well, it's the fact of the matter is that this this show that I do is the most important thing in my life And has been. And so and and I get to meet I get to meet extraordinary human beings like Rochelle and you and and others. So that that fills me up. And so that's all I need.

Unknown Speaker (55:25): There you go. That there you go. You just answered your own question.

Unknown Speaker (55:31): But it but it I know. But the interesting thing about that, Chrissy, is that there are some people who say, oh, no. You Rochelle, you can date again. You might find somebody that would really you would really love to be in this, like, girl.

Unknown Speaker (55:48): What if she doesn't even wanna live with you, though? She just wants to love you and you guys can have distance too.

Brichelle (55:56): Drops by and makes me dinner and then leaves? That would be okay.

Chrissy Neppi (56:01): No. Maybe you could have a split house. I don't know. We'll figure it out. But when I believe I believe that when the time is right, it will come if it is meant to be.

Chrissy Neppi (56:12): And so I guess I'll leave you alone, but don't leave it out of your mind. I don't want someone to walk into your frame and you to be like, nah. And then it's like, why not? Don't be scared. So I guess there's definitely finding balance and harmony in that again, I bet.

Brichelle (56:30): Oh, it's it's it's in you have been well, when you've been married for as long as I was or as long as Chrissy was, that there's a certain thing that that it does take and therapy might help and and all of that but I but I I just can't get past the idea that I never had but then, you know, I think to my, I I never had a successful relationship but then I think to myself, Chrissy, and it's like, well, if you, the the people who have really successful relationships, they only have one.

Unknown Speaker (57:09): And yeah. Interesting. Maybe. You know, if they're lucky, put it that way. If they're lucky Yeah.

Unknown Speaker (57:15): They have a really good relationship in their life, if they're lucky.

Brichelle (57:18): I know some some people that got married right out of high school. There were two of them. Everybody else got divorced. But there were two of them and they're still married today. And so they've had one successful relationship in their entire life.

Brichelle (57:31): And Yeah. But but it works for them. And so so mine is like, why would I want to fool with that anymore? Any I

Chrissy Neppi (57:40): don't know. You gotta learn somebody's name and their favorite color and what

Unknown Speaker (57:44): they like to eat and

Brichelle (57:47): Buying presents and buying jewelry that they hate and it's like, I don't know. So but

Unknown Speaker (57:54): it I don't blame you. Whatever. But

Brichelle (57:57): but, Christy, you you are the work you're doing and you're working with women to help them get back on their feet and to heal and and to move forward with their lives. In all manners of it with their career which we haven't really touched on but that's a really important piece because you were a homemaker for that period of time. And now you had to go out and slay the dragons, if you will.

Unknown Speaker (58:24): Yeah. Yeah. And that was that was a whole big thing. You know, I considered going back to school. I considered all kinds of things, but I landed on I landed on life coaching and so that's kind of the direction I decided to take but I tried many other things you know between then and now.

Unknown Speaker (58:42): But one thing I want to say before we run out of time is I know I focus a lot on Catholic moms and that's where I'm at right now. That's the program I developed at this time. However, I do eventually, I would eventually, I think men need every bit as much of attention, care, concern and tenderness, compassion as women do. The dads need this type of program every bit as much as the moms do. And that's in development in my head right now, you know?

Unknown Speaker (59:13): But I do wanna say that I acknowledge that and I recognize that. They're every bit as deserving and needing of something that speaks just to them on the dad side of things and the men's side of things. But yeah, that was my whole point is that I don't want anyone to have to face this alone because people tend to isolate when they're in pain and I can't stand the thought that there's someone, I cannot stand the thought that there's someone going through this alone and doesn't know that there's help out there.

Brichelle (59:48): Doing it alone is a horrible horrible place to be.

Unknown Speaker (59:53): Yes, very, very much so. And we're not meant for that. You know, we're not built for that, so.

Brichelle (59:58): We're social animals and we do need companionship and our society with us. But you can provide, if, so here's my plea. If you are in the situation where your marriage has crumbled, you don't know what to do and you need somebody to support you, Chrissy is a great coach and she can help you get through the real tough times because she's been there. She's already done it. And that's that's a really big deal.

Brichelle (1:00:33): Don't you think, Rochelle?

Chrissy Neppi (1:00:34): 100%. We need each other. As we've all said, we're stronger together, and we're one as we believe here. And, you know, it's it's in the power of knowledge. It's in the power of learning how we were talking about before we came to the show, Chrissy, that a lot of people just don't know.

Chrissy Neppi (1:00:53): And so this is why you're here is to let people know. If you know somebody also, loved one, friend and family, anybody that, could use just somebody to talk to that understands what they're going through because they've been through that experience, please guide them to Chrissylemonade coaching. That's lemonade-life-coaching.com, where you can find everything out about the resources, faithful and free, which we mentioned. And of course, contact Chrissy herself. And Chrissy, thank you so much for spending this time with us and being a survivor.

Chrissy Neppi (1:01:33): It reminds me of Destiny's Child. I'm a survivor. So I'm gonna run with that this week, and I hope you do too. Do you have any last words you'd like to share with us?

Unknown Speaker (1:01:46): No, guess my last word would be you may not have chosen the divorce, but you do get to choose what comes next. You do get to choose what comes after. And that's a message of hope and courage.

Unknown Speaker (1:02:02): Exactly. In my case, I made a bad decision to begin with, but that's another story for

Unknown Speaker (1:02:07): another Kevin, you keep keeping on. You're doing great.

Brichelle (1:02:15): And thank you, Chrissy. And by the way, and without giving us too much information, your kid's doing well?

Unknown Speaker (1:02:22): Terrific. I mean, I pinch myself. We all somehow made it through Intact and they all stayed on the course that they were on. God's grace. They're doing terrific.

Unknown Speaker (1:02:35): And one of them got married, another one's about to be engaged, another one's graduating high school, another one's launching her own business. I mean, they're all doing great.

Unknown Speaker (1:02:44): What a mom they got, Kevin?

Brichelle (1:02:46): Oh. Boy, I tell you. And and, you know, she she stand up, take the applause and take the credit. You ready?

Unknown Speaker (1:02:56): Because

Brichelle (1:03:01): that that doesn't always happen. And congratulations for recognizing it, keeping it together and keeping everybody working together because it's a lot of communication on a whole bunch of different levels. It

Unknown Speaker (1:03:15): is. It is. So thank you much, both of you for having me. It was a delightful time and a delightful conversation. And I'm so happy to let others know that I exist and let others know that they don't have to go through this alone.

Unknown Speaker (1:03:30): And thank you for giving me the opportunity to share that message.

Unknown Speaker (1:03:34): You, And thank

Brichelle (1:03:36): thank you for reaching somebody who you haven't even met yet, who you will, because they are sitting there going, and that's why this is a very, very personal media. Somebody's sitting on their bed and they are lost and they're feeling badly about everything that's going on and they have, you know, the unknown because pretty scary when you don't have anything, any experience to understand what's actually happening and so, go talk to Chrissy and she can help you get through it. Rochelle, last time for her website.

Chrissy Neppi (1:04:12): Yes. Lemonade-life-coaching.com. Go visit it. Check it out and meet Chrissy for yourself. You won't be disappointed.

Chrissy Neppi (1:04:21): Chrissy, we love you as always, and we'll see you again.

Unknown Speaker (1:04:25): Thank you so much. God bless you both.

Unknown Speaker (1:04:27): She's delightful. Have a great day, everybody. Thank you for being part of Positive Talk with Kevin McConnell, where stories inspire and voices remind us of what truly matters. May today's conversation give you hope, courage, and a reason to keep moving forward. And just remember, till next time, be kind to one another because each other's all we've got.

Unknown Speaker (1:04:57): Hi.