October 26, 2022
Kerry’s mission is to help others find a more balanced and fulfilled life. She believes in action and has created a system that is easy to implement so that people can create change quickly. Kerry teaches Simple Tips for Extraordinary Living using stress reduction techniques and work-life balance to help people supercharge their lives. She coaches corporate clients and elite athletes in mindset and peak performance techniques and creates tailored programs for private clients who are seeking mastery in all areas of their lives.
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Unknown Speaker 0:03
Welcome to positive talk radio. Our goal is simple to explore evolving ideas, one conversation at a time. So stay with us. Right now we present. You feel stressed. And as your life like descending pile of goo, and you're just not very happy with yourself. I've got a solution. And she's sitting right over there. Right now her name is Carrie Fisher. And if you want to follow along, you can go to Carrie Fisher coaching.com. And you can find out all about her and all the things that she does. She's really has had an extraordinary life. And Carrie, welcome to the show. I'm so glad you're here.
Unknown Speaker 0:47
I am so glad to be Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 0:49
It's such a joy to be. Well, first of all, you're a mother of five. Your lawyer. Yeah, you're a coach. You're a Yoga expert. And you're and you're you know, I was just reading in your bio that when you were a kid, you were a a prodigy as far as being a gymnast.
Unknown Speaker 1:12
Yep, I was a competitive gymnast. And honestly, I think that maybe that's what shaped me into who I am. And it also started my interest in the mind mindset and peak performance because I had a coach back then, who was from California, and she was interested in visualization and meditation. We're talking like 40 years ago, Kevin, so she was way ahead of her time. So I learned a lot of these concepts at a young age. And I've just been using them my whole life. And as you said, I used to be a lawyer, but I decided to leave law and go into the wellness world, because I had been studying it and practicing it my whole life. And I realized, you know what, I really want to teach people these things, because it's part of the reason I've been able to pivot into different professions comfortably, and also keep moving towards the best version of myself.
Unknown Speaker 2:01
Which you're continuing to do all the time. Aren't we all?
Unknown Speaker 2:05
I think so. Yeah. Everyone's like, Oh, you're always recreating yourself. I'm like, aren't we all if we want to? But you know what, Kevin, it's interesting. You said that? Because Wouldn't you say that, that what, that's what causes a lot of people to suffer, because they don't allow themselves to continually become, they get a profession. And like, here I am. I'm a lawyer. Now I have my kids, everything's perfect. And they stole right there. For some people, that might be great. But for other people, they think, you know, what, maybe my life could be better. So having the, the desire and the ability to look in the mirror is really, really helpful, I think,
Unknown Speaker 2:43
I believe, I believe that everybody at one point in time, has a conversation with themselves. And then the conversation goes something like this. Is this all there? Is? Am I destined to just sit here and and then to do cases? Or in my case, to sell chicken? I'm maybe the only chicken salesman we've ever met? And and this is this, how my life is gonna go and stuff and and is this? Is this what I'm really born to do. I don't feel like I'm fulfilled. And at a core level that this is what I'm supposed to be doing. But most of us sit there and we just deal with it. And we and we say, well, you know, I've got, I've got this mortgage, and I've got, you know, my wife is used to a certain style of living or whatever. And I've got kids and stuff like that. So we we put our passions aside. And some of us never pick it up again. What was it about you that decided that? I mean, you are a lawyer, you are you You know, you had a life doing all of that, that took a great deal of faith for you to make that leap. And
Unknown Speaker 3:52
it took a lot of faith, honestly. But the real truth is, is I had that exact conversation. And I said to myself, I'm not happy. And on the outside, it looked perfect. And I think a lot of us have that same experience on the outside there I was I was a lawyer, everyone would be impressed by that. So I get a certain level of recognition from being an attorney. Right? And it had become a identity, right? It's almost like a shield. And then I had my children and my beautiful house and it looked like all my life was in perfect order. And I remember when I first started thinking like this is not what I'm meant to do. I almost felt guilty, like who am I just to want more than this. I already have all that the you know, the world tells me I needed. But I was really honest with myself, I was not happy. I knew that I was meant to do other things. And for me, I always knew I wanted to help people on a grand scale, to have the best life that they could to become the person that they had always dreamed of being and I thought you know what, let me just start doing it. And I started doing it originally Kevin on the side. I didn't leave law and go straight into it. I started Did teaching you know part time on the side and sometimes your passion B could become your career, if you just keep slowly building it, you'd be surprised what could happen. If every day you spend a few minutes on your passion.
Unknown Speaker 5:14
And you continue to grow it and work it and, and never quit. Because Because quitting is the only, in my opinion quitting is the only time you ever lose is your passion is if you don't follow it. Because that's the isn't that what we're designed to do or destined to do is to follow our hearts and our passion.
Unknown Speaker 5:33
Well, it's interesting to me that when you're a child, you are taught that you're taught like, Oh, if you fall down, just get up and keep trying to walk. You know, the baby doesn't say up, I can't walk after they try one or two times, they just keep trying. And for whatever reason, when we become adults, we lose sight of that. I had a really interesting conversation a few years ago with one of my clients. And she said, You know, I'm so overwhelmed, Carrie of so much going on. And as we started talking, and really just getting to the heart of what her problem was, she wasn't overwhelmed. Kevin, she was underwhelmed. She was bored. She was getting up every single day doing the same thing. And I said, What stops you from trying something else? And she said, she was like, I'm scared, I'm going to fail. And I'm like, Well, you know, you're never gonna know. And even if you fail, the most successful people have failed many, many, many times, you know, I think was it Thomas Edison, he said, he doesn't consider it 999 failures. He thinks of it as he thought of it as 999 ways that didn't work. And that's like, really what, what sets apart an expert who really managed to fulfill their dreams and people who just have the dreams and just let them die with them?
Unknown Speaker 6:42
Well, let's say it's like a baseball player, the most successful baseball player in the world fails two thirds of the time. Wow, is that true? Yeah. Because if you're a 300 hitter, you're considered to be elite in the professional baseball world, and that means that you fail two out of every three times. So So you know, but they have the ability, like your teacher taught you to have a vision, and to have a short memory, because you're gonna let the negative stuff go and keep working on the positive stuff.
Unknown Speaker 7:17
And you know, gymnastics, as I've gotten older, I realized how much gymnastics really gave me because in gymnastics, you are working for yourself, you know, because you're scored individually, and you get awards individually, but you're also scored as a team. So you learn how to worry about yourself, but also worry about the team. And also in gymnastics, because there's four different events, you really do have to let go of whatever just happened. And believe it or not, whether it's something negative that happened or positive, you kind of have to let it go. Because if you really nailed it, and you did great, you could go into it with almost like a cocky attitude, and then not do well on your next event. So you need to wipe the slate clean in between every event. And I like the idea of wiping the slate like the slate clean every night right before you go to bed like whatever happened. Good, bad, indifferent, wipe it clean, start over the next day,
Unknown Speaker 8:04
I think I think that's brilliant. That's just brilliant. By the way, in gymnastics, which is the hardest event.
Unknown Speaker 8:12
I don't know, they always depends on what your particular skill is. Because I was really good on the balance beam, which a lot of people would be scared on and the floor, but I was not as good on the vault or the bars. And that's because I didn't have a lot of upper body strength, or speed. So it really you know, gymnastics is a skill, but it's also what your body innately is good at. So people would say balance being but I wouldn't, I would say probably uneven parallel bars.
Unknown Speaker 8:39
So could you do a flip on the balance beam? Yeah, I
Unknown Speaker 8:42
was able to do that. Well, brother. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 8:45
I can't imagine that would be so frightening. You know,
Unknown Speaker 8:49
it wasn't because you started out doing it on the floor, and then on a balance beam that was on the floor. And then you would gradually work your way up to higher and higher ones. And I remember one time when I actually learned how to do a backflip on the beam. I had already learned how to do it. And at that point, the coach would stand next to you, but they wouldn't touch you. So she was at we were at that stage where she was standing next to me but not touching me and I flipped and I fell off the balance beam and like I caught my whole entire side of my leg. It was like my thigh like went straight down the beam. And, you know, like it kinda like raise a little cut but not really deep, you know, but and then I lost my breath too. And my coach was leaning over me and she's like, Carrie, just calm down. Take a deep breath. So that helped me catch my breath again. And then Kevin, she made me get back up there and do it again. Because she knew if I did it right away, I wouldn't ever go back up there because I would have been so scared. So I went back up there and I actually stuck at the next time. But these are the kinds of lessons that if you don't learn them as a child, you need to learn them as an adult because the only way you could ever get towards the life that you imagine your dream life is by failing a lot. Fail upward I say fail forward
Unknown Speaker 10:00
Yeah, well, and and I don't even call it failure, I kind of call it an experience that you had that, that maybe you needed to repackage what your thoughts were or what you were trying to do. And rather than saying, I failed, give me an example, I'm the first time I did radio, which was in 2003. I spent like, $75,000 of my own money, and lost, and ended up having to quit the show. But it's you, but it didn't change the fact. Because money is only energy. It was only, you know, it didn't change the fact that that was still my passion. And so I've been working at it ever since. And, and I'm broke pieces the way the way. It's working at this time, and, and, and stuff. So but so it's just an experience. And if but you got to be, you know, I learned that in football. You because I played I was an athlete, I played football and baseball and stuff and you, you cannot quit. If you quit, then then you fail. That's the only way that you fail, I think, what do you think?
Unknown Speaker 11:07
I do think that but it is a lesson I have to keep reminding myself plus I teach it. So you would think that I just have it down. But I have to always remind myself and practice because when you fail now, you're kind of failing, like, into the world, right, Kevin? Because like you're on social media. So say like, you know, you put a book out and it doesn't do well, everybody knows, but you, you almost have to get to the point where you don't even think about the fact that anyone else is thinking about you. Right? And first of all, people usually aren't thinking about you, most of us think about ourselves, they are thinking about you, they think about you for like two seconds. It's like, oh, Carrie Sox, her book didn't do well, or whatever they think Kevin, Kevin lost all that money in his radio show. And then they're back to thinking about themselves. So you have to just live your life, like no one is even paying attention, while putting yourself out on every possible platform. So it's kind of like a weird world we're living in. But I think that being able to fail, or I like how you don't even call it failure, but being able to have an experience that didn't go the way you wanted it to. And then just take the lesson from it. I had a life coach that once said, If you didn't think you did well, like so it was right after I had gone on a big stage, but the first time and spoke to a big audience. And I said, Oh, I wish this was different that different. She goes, Well, Carrie, what did what went, right? So I was like, oh, actually like these three things went, right. So she said, Okay, great. So just those three things went right. So she flipped my thinking, not that everything was horrible, but that Oh, things went well. And she said, what's the one thing you would improve? You know, and I was like, Oh, I would improve this one thing, you said, Now, leave that whole entire thing behind you and walk forward. So your way is have the experience, and then learn the lesson and move on. And I think it's brilliant.
Unknown Speaker 12:54
And understand that the reason that you learn the lesson, I mean, I've been around a while now. And I've learned a lot of lessons in my life, and some are good and some are not so good. And but each one of them had value. Because I learned a little bit more about myself about about the world around me and and how things worked and a little bit better each time. And but I but you have to remain open to it. Because if you close yourself down, then you're quitting. And then you're done.
Unknown Speaker 13:25
I had a teacher once who told me that he likes to he had a lot of painful experiences. And now he sends a message to the universe universe, I'm ready to take lessons quicker, I will learn the lessons faster, I promise send me easier, less.
Unknown Speaker 13:43
I know, because some of the some lessons can be you know, in the grand scheme of things when you think about your life in total, and you're going well I fell in I hurt myself. And it was painful. And I have done surgery and, and stuff like that and you go, that was a horrible experience. But it doesn't necessarily have to be a horrible experience. If you get something out of it, or if or if the outshoot of it is something positive, which is what happened to me I was a bus driver and I was doing the podcast and a little and just part time. And I had by the way, be careful what you ask the universe for money, give it to you. And so I said I really want to do the podcast full time I wish I could, but I've got to make a living. And so they arranged for me to get into a house and a little mobile home that I can afford. And then I fell twice in two months had to have surgery on both my arms, one for rotator cuff one for something and could no longer drive. And so then I had insurance policy that would take care of my needs for that because I was now disabled. And so but it didn't prevent me it I didn't hurt my mouth and it didn't hurt my head and I saw I can still talk and I can still I think and I can still have passion for what I'm doing. So that's, that's kind of how the universe works for me anyway. I don't know, I hope everything is easy, and cupcakes and rainbows for you.
Unknown Speaker 15:10
I would love that. But I have five children. So they're all cupcakes, but they're necessarily not always rainbows and butterflies. What age group are they? My kids go from 13 to 27. And I just always say that because we have, we have so many kids, there's always something crazy happening in our lives, there's always stress for us. So I really had to learn to use all of the tools that I teach. Because if I didn't, first of all, I shouldn't be teaching. But if I did, and I would go crazy, because I have a lot of things going on between my career, my husband's career, our families, and then our, obviously, our children. So there's always something going on. And I used to think that I would get to a point in life where everything would be all rainbows and sparkles and glitter. That was like what I was aiming for, up until right before the pandemic and then during the pandemic, I realized, no, actually, life is always up and down. The key is, how do I get back up? when life knocks me down? Do I get back up? Right?
Unknown Speaker 16:09
Yeah, you gotta, you gotta keep going, gotta keep giving up. And, and when when you get knocked down, just keep going. And the universe will provide for you, I that's, I believe that thoroughly. That the and that's God, that's whatever you want to call it, that you'll be taken care of. Because especially if you're operating from your heart, and I know you talk a great deal about that with your, with your clients and, and taking care of yourself physically, and mentally and emotionally, and spiritually, and all of those things working together.
Unknown Speaker 16:43
Yeah, and people, people try to chop different pieces off of themselves. So they're like, you know, they don't care about physical or they don't care about their spiritual, right. So I think it's important to take care of all of it body, mind, and spirit. And spirit could be anything that you think spirit is, it could be a god, it could be a religion, or maybe it's just a different kind of practice when I was in Estonia, Estonians believe going into the forest is like being in church. So communing with nature. So you just I don't think that we were taught Kevin and our society and America here to take care of ourselves, honestly. Or we were taught to take care of pieces of ourselves like, Okay, do really well in your career, or be a good mother, you know, whatever your role is that you take as your predominant role. But we're not taught to, you know, care about your relationships, care about your diet, care about exercise, care about your emotional life, care about your spiritual life, we're not taught to look at everything like that,
Unknown Speaker 17:41
oh, a lot of times, there's just not enough time. Because you, as was my experience, when I was working 5055 hours a week, I really didn't have time to really even contemplate, and I think that's where a lot of us get lost is we don't even have time to contemplate life. We're just trying to make it through until we can get to the bed that night, because we were so tired. And then we started all over again the next day. And it's just, it never ends. It never ends. But that's not why we're here.
Unknown Speaker 18:17
But you know what, actually, what you just said is such a good lead in because I noticed that with all of my years of teaching, I noticed that people don't make the time for themselves. And everyone is busy. By the way, every adult is busy, you're not busier than anyone else. whoever's listening, we're all extremely busy. We all have a lot of family obligations, you know, work obligations, financial obligations, everybody does. But the what I noticed is people don't make the time, which is why I created this whole entire system of very simple tools. I believe you could change your life by starting out with five minutes a day, you know, so if you want me to tell you about it, I could actually tell people how to actually implement starting tomorrow morning.
Unknown Speaker 19:01
Well, you have a book out,
Unknown Speaker 19:02
don't you? I do have a book out. Yes.
Unknown Speaker 19:05
Is it in the book. It's
Unknown Speaker 19:07
in the book, but I want to spoil the book. So if you don't want to buy the book, which I would love it if you bought the book, it's called tools for extraordinary living the snooze button session. But if you don't want to buy the book, I'm going to tell you what the whole technique is right now because I'm nice and because I really want to spread this idea. So you your alarm goes off in the morning, you hit the snooze button, and now until the alarm goes off again. So that might be 567 minutes, depending on how long your snooze is. You will do something that makes you feel good. So Carrie, what should I do? Well, this is the beauty of my system. In my book, I give you 12 ideas for things you could do during your snooze button session. And I'll quickly tell you a couple of them but you could also do whatever you want during your snooze button session. The idea is instead of snoozing, get up and do something that really fills you up. So you can get up and dance for five minutes put on your favorite song Imagine starting your day like that Kevin, listen to your favorite music and dancing like a weirdo where no one can see you. Come on Kevin
Unknown Speaker 20:08
shoved in your neck and your cage your husband, he's like, are looking at you guys. What are you doing?
Unknown Speaker 20:13
Yeah, but I'm smarter than him. So I go into my closet and close. Not dumb Gavin. Or you could do that you could have some little, you know, intimate time with your lover. You could just get up and meditate. And you don't even have to do any fancy meditation Kevin, just sit up. And either think, Okay, what am I thinking about? Just notice your thoughts, or focus on your breath and notice your breath coming in and out. You could get up and just stretch next to your bed. You don't have to do anything fancy or do some exercise. And, yeah, if you want to go online and find a five minute exercise, that's fine. But I almost don't want you to do that. I kind of just want you to like, go stand next to your bed. And like, do some jumping jacks run in place, you know, do some push ups, and just start your day off, right? And what you'll find is, when you start your day like that, you really feel good about yourself, because you already accomplished something. Right? So before you even started your day, well, I already stretched today. Well, I read the journal today. So you did something that made you feel good. And you know, it starts to leach over to your day. So for some people who do this, they'll start stacking on snooze button session. So they'll hit their snooze button and meditate hit the snooze button and exercise. And some people have up to an hour long routine in the morning. And then you start to think well, what can I do before bed to make me feel good? And then oh, what can I do in the middle of the day to make me feel good. And I really advocate for everybody to try this news button session. And if you do go on Instagram and message me privately, I handle my Instagram, I'd love to hear from you. But if you don't want to do the snooze button, because you don't have time in the morning, then right before bed, give yourself five minutes to journal or to snuggle with someone or dance or like whatever it is, you know, even like sit onto the shower for five minutes. And just give yourself the time, I really want people to start to realize that you could change your life by just five minutes, different times of the day. And you start with the first five minutes. So Kevin tomorrow for five minutes you figure out when could I find time for me and you do it every day until you set that habit in place. And then find the next five minutes. So change your life little by little bit by bit.
Unknown Speaker 22:26
You know, it's fun for me is this is what turns on my day, is having conversations with people like you. By the way, we're talking with Carrie Fisher, go to our website, which is Carrie Fisher coaching.com. And, and by the way, I have a perfect solution for if you want to me if you're married, and you do this five minute thing and you end up snuggling with your significant other, you're gonna make a very happy man out of that guy. He can start his day, just in a really good mood.
Unknown Speaker 22:56
Yeah, maybe you could whisper a little sweet, nothing about what might happen in the evening. If you choose this snuggling technique. That's a really good way Gavin, to keep both of you in quite an interesting mood all day.
Unknown Speaker 23:09
It is, you know, one of the folks that I've had on there, they have a podcast called The extraordinary marriage. And they did what they called the 60 day sex challenge. And so they had sex like every day for 60 days, unless somebody was indisposed for obvious reasons. And it's nothing and and they were they it literally changed their life and changed their relationship. Just like what you're talking about can change your relationship with yourself.
Unknown Speaker 23:38
Yeah, because you start putting yourself on the list. And I have always done a lot of things for myself. Like I always take a bath every night, my whole life I've done I've read a lot like I do, I spend time in nature. But what I've realized during the pandemic is like I actually never did show myself any love. Because no matter what I accomplish, I didn't even care about that I would be looking to the next thing I could accomplish or seeing what I did not so great. Even though I accomplished it all I could have done this better, or I should have done that instead or said this other thing. So I started to be much easier on myself and to show myself self love. As a matter of fact, Kevin I'm like I'm Italian. So I'm like very temperamental. And like if you tell me to do something, there's no way I'm gonna do it. Even if I was just trying to do that thing. Or if I tell myself to do something, I sometimes even rebel against myself. But I would have thought that I did show myself self love. So when my friend a couple of years ago said the word self love to me I swear I thought to myself, That's the dumbest thing I ever heard. But then I it took me a few months and I realized oh, I had to do a strong reaction because I don't show myself self love. So I started a simple thing a few times a day is put my hands on my heart and said I love you. I love you. I love you. And believe it or not it made me really teary because I realized I didn't really show myself love and I think a lot of us have this problem.
Unknown Speaker 24:55
You know, really women have got this problem more than anybody else because you were Most women, many women were brought up to be a caregiver, a housewife, cooking, taking care of the house, making sure everything. And so they don't, they end up sacrificing their own self love. Because they don't have time. And they're too busy with everybody else. How do you encourage women to take that time, and even recognize that they don't, they're not taking that time when they should be?
Unknown Speaker 25:29
Well, I'll tell you, as the mom of five that I for my first two kids, I was, you know, the martyr Mom, I'm going to do everything for everyone at all times. And I was definitely working with like an empty cup, you know, like, it wasn't an overflowing cup that I was, I was taking care of my family from it was an empty cup. And it took me a long time to acknowledge it, because I thought a good mother did do all those things, put herself last or not on the list and do every single thing for your kids. But really, the most important thing for your children is for you to be happy. So I started actually prioritizing myself and my husband and my relationship. And that has made us much better parents, for our younger children. It's just, it is a definite mindset switch. I don't think it's easy. And like you said, for women, especially, we're not just taught that, you know, we're gonna grow up and have babies one day, a lot of us were taught this, not everybody. But you know, a lot of times the woman is also the caretaker of the parents at a certain age, you know, and even, you know, we just tend to caretake I think women are taught that in our culture, I do hope that changing, but it is a fact. And you know, I'm sure this is insulting some people because they say, Oh, that's not their experience. But it has been my experience. And I think it's important for women to know that you can you matter to, and you can take some time for yourself. And if you don't want to start with the big amount of time, start with the five minutes every morning, and then move on from there. And notice how you feel after you're taking the time in the morning.
Unknown Speaker 26:57
I think that's brilliant. Yeah. And because you're starting out your day. I have a saying that I that I use it people think sometimes I'm not saying it, but I'm gonna say it anyway. i When you wake up in the morning, your life is empty and meaningless. And some people would say, What do you mean, I have meaning I'm fine, my life is important. I've got no and they misunderstand what I'm meaning what meaning is in the morning, your life is empty, which means you have the freedom to fill it up with whatever you want to. And your life is meaningless until you assign whatever meaning you want it to have. So you have got a perfect opportunity every morning to start your whole existence, brand new. And that's got to be at least for me, it's very freeing thought.
Unknown Speaker 27:48
I love that thought. And as a matter of fact, you could also just start doing things that you love. So my husband and I were like, oh, you know, our youngest child is now 13. So now we have a little bit more freedom. So I found out about this dance party that happens once a month in Brooklyn, and we got up yesterday, it's from nine to 12 in the morning. It's a morning dance party. And like everyone dresses up like Burning Man, kind of and we just dance and have fun and no alcohol. It's like really interesting. And the guy, the DJ, the emcee, he actually said during the shot during the dance party, every day, you have a choice, whether you will choose joy that day or not. So isn't that powerful? And I was like, oh, yeah, we do. A lot of times we choose not to. And guess what, when you keep hitting the snooze button and going back to sleep, you know, you're going to feel guilty. Once you finally wake up, you're also going to be late, and you're going to be rushing around. So when you wake up in the morning and choose you and choose, I'm going to exercise or I'm going to stretch, I'm going to spend five minutes doing something for me, I think that you are choosing joy. So think about that every day. Yes, your your your life is meaningless each morning when you open your eyes until you decide what the meaning is for your life. And for that day. That's beautiful, Kevin,
Unknown Speaker 29:05
absolutely. And by the way, I want to congratulate you. Because there's somebody in the audience is asking, it's like, let me see your you get married, and you're and your husband and you have five kids, and you're a lawyer, and you're professional, and you're doing all this stuff. And then you come to him one day and say, I want to become a life coach. And and what was his response?
Unknown Speaker 29:28
My first leap was actually from law to be a yoga teacher, but Oh, okay. Yeah, he you know, he's always been really supportive of me. And you know, I've been lucky like that. I said to him, would you ever be upset and you said no. And you know what, I wouldn't be upset either. He if he wanted to change careers, I would support him too. We were always like that even from the beginning, in a lot of ways. We have like a good marriage in that regard with supporting one another. Because I remember when at one point he wanted to go into business for himself, and we are ready He had a house, we had some of our kids already. And he was the main breadwinner at that time. And I said, you know, even if even if we have to go move in with one of our parents, don't worry about it just, you know, go for your dreams, we always kind of were very casual about what we needed. You know, we were both lucky that we both have really good families, we always knew we could fall back on them. I mean, you never want to move in with your parents, when you're already a grown adult with children. But I guess, knowing we had that always allowed us to follow our dreams. And for me, whenever you make a commitment to something, and for some reason, it always seems to work out, it's really that making of the decision, that's the problem. So he was actually really supportive. I know, I'm lucky like that. And I've had a lot of other job pivots since then. And also, I didn't immediately stop law, I, you know, established myself as a yoga teacher. And then I started training, yoga teachers in anatomy, so I really was already ready to move, you know, I didn't just jump into it. Some people would say, leave your career and you know, go full force into your, you know, your passion. But for me, it worked well, keeping my main job and then developing the passion on the side until it was big enough, that works for me, but everyone has to decide for themselves.
Unknown Speaker 31:15
And at the end of the day, it doesn't matter. As long as you're working to follow your passion and follow your heart. One of my favorite sayings is your heart is free, have the courage to follow it. And how many of us don't do that.
Unknown Speaker 31:28
And honestly, that's what leads to a lot of people's disease, their depression, because they're not following their dreams. And, you know, again, I just want to keep reminding you that you could even just do your dream as a hobby. Even if you don't ever want it to become the main thing you do. If you're like, I actually like my job, but I have this other dream, go ahead and do it on the side, do it for half an hour at night, you know, do it in the morning, when you first wake up, even if it's five minutes per day, I just think it's really powerful. If you do something five minutes every single day, like let's just say you want to write a book, if you do that for five minutes, every day, after a year, you'll have most of that book written, you'll have a good chunk of it. And what happens is, you say I'm going to do it for five minutes. But once you start doing it, you usually do it for a lot longer. It's the getting yourself sitting to do the task, that's always the hardest,
Unknown Speaker 32:19
you know, what I'm learning and tell me because you're you're a writer of note, and you're you're you're an author, and and stuff, but what I've what I'm learning is, at least for me, I don't I get impatient when I'm sitting there typing or, or writing. But if I can speak it, then and now there's there speak to speak to type in stuff. So if I speak it, then it's much more authentic for me. And much more realistic as to what I would say naturally, is that is that a good way if you're if you are just getting started, and you want to sit down at your computer and you write, you just grab a microphone, and you start talking into it and telling you a story that you've probably told many times in your life. But this is the first time that you're putting it down. Is that a good way to begin?
Unknown Speaker 33:07
I think it's a great way to begin. And you have to figure out just like with everything, what works for you. So if you love that I would do it, you know, you could just use your phone and record I suggest that to aspiring writers all the time. First of all, if you write one chapter a month, that is not crazy, right? You guys. So say a chapter, even if it's 20 pages in a Chapter, if you write one chapter a month, that's less than a page a day, you will have a full book after a year. And the the voice thing is really brilliant. So you could just tell your stories into your phone and then use one of those apps that will convert it into writing. And at that point, you yourself can either see what you have. Or you could go there and get a writing coach who could help you or an editor can help you or a ghost writer. But for me, it's just getting it all down somewhere. Because the book starts to take shape once you start writing it.
Unknown Speaker 33:59
And it just kind of flows doesn't add to have at one point, once you get an idea what you're doing, then then it just kind of flows and the ideas keep coming. Because I really believe that that a lot of this the being able to write, being able to do what you do with people involves a lot of inspiration.
Unknown Speaker 34:18
Yeah, and I think that creativity is opens up the more you use it.
Unknown Speaker 34:23
And good point, it's like a muscle.
Unknown Speaker 34:26
It really is a muscle and the more like say you want to be a writer, the more you write, the better you become, the more you play music if that's what your aspiration is, the better you become. And I also think that even if you start out writing, it might lead to a different path. You might think, oh, you know what, I'd rather actually make an online course or instead of this I'd like to make a podcast so I just think you should start down whatever path you want. Just start start now. Start today. Five minutes, start investigating what would I need to do to start moving towards my dream? What would I need? to do to start getting this writing project going,
Unknown Speaker 35:03
how do you have a kid if somebody says, I don't know what my dream is? I have no idea. How would you help them to understand a little bit more about what their dream might be,
Unknown Speaker 35:14
I would actually have them go back to their childhood. So I actually do a nice meditation, I'll do that with some of the people I work with, where I bring them back to their childhood, and they remember some of the hobbies and some of the activities that they loved as a child, a lot of times, that will be a clue, right? Or sometimes they have no clue. And then they just have to start trying different things. So in that case, I would tell them to make a list of the 20 topics that interest them, and then take the top three topics and start researching each one of them. And then maybe something will grow out of that. If you can't do that. You could also just ask like five of your friends, like, what do you think I would be really great ad if I wasn't doing what I'm doing now. So there's a lot of different ways you could get at it.
Unknown Speaker 35:59
That's a really good point. Because one of the privileges I have about doing the podcast, like I do it is that I get to talk to people like you, and then you will, you'll trigger me into remembering something that I did when I was a kid that really kind of shaped my life. And again, a great degree. I was when I was younger, you know, as soon as Cub Scouts, and they had something called the blue bowl dinner, and the where everybody comes in, they have dinner, and then they give out awards and stuff. And they have a little entertainment piece. Yeah, well, I plan to do a monologue. For those of you that don't know what a monologue is, it isn't stand up comedy like they do on The Tonight Show. In this case, it's a written piece that you do, and you there is no there are no props, that you walk up on stage, and you are mimicking what's happening to you in this particular thing. And so I learned this monologue and it was called a sparkler for Mother, I still remember it because it was right around Mother's Day. And it was about a young guy that was going into a department store, looking for something to buy his mom, and then the interactions that he did, and that sort of thing. And I did that, and I did it well, and then everybody applauded it was like, Hey, that's pretty cool. And validated me in a lot of ways. So it could be something as simple as that. And fast forward 60 years, I use that every day, as far as what I'm doing now.
Unknown Speaker 37:31
Isn't that interesting? A lot of clues are in your childhood. And what's interesting also is that when you look back at your childhood, and you start uncovering some of these things that you used to like to do, sometimes you can even remember someone dissuading you. So either a teacher or a parent or an extended family member, and they're usually doing it to protect you. But they'll say like, oh, you can never be an astronaut or, Oh, artists make no money, you know, there's all these things, or oh, if you, you know, if you're a woman and you want to be a lawyer, you're not going to have any time for your children, that'll be hard for you to have children then. So there's a lot of things that were put into our heads that stopped us from the path that we really want it to, but I actually believe everyone knows it, because I've never spoken to anyone yet that after like maybe half an hour of talking with them and uncovering things that they can eventually say, You know what, actually, this was always my dream, everyone seems to know it. Kevin,
Unknown Speaker 38:25
do you think the dreams that we have are made up in our head? Or do you think that they are part of our being and come from the Divine and from our soul and, and that kind of thing,
Unknown Speaker 38:39
I really have to wonder because I always my whole life wanted to be an author because I was always a huge reader. I never watched a lot of TV and I used to just have my face buried in a book all the time. And then when I was in high school, I had an English teacher who basically told me I was a terrible writer, I actually shared with him that I plan to be a writer when I grew up. And he said, You're a terrible writer, Carrie, you can never be a writer. And you know, when I first started writing, I uncovered this memory. And that was the thing that stopped me. And then I had to erase the memory, so much of how much I had wanted to be a writer. Because if you had asked me like in my late teens, early 20s, I would have told you, the thing I want to do is be a lawyer. And I always thought I always wanted to be a lawyer my whole life. And I always want to have a lot of children. But before I ever had those two dreams, I always wanted to be a writer, but I was told I couldn't. So it was really interesting. I started writing I made myself write every single day starting January 1 last year. And all of a sudden, one of the days I was writing, the image of that teacher came to my mind and I was like wow, you know, I let that guy stop me. But I also think that I needed a lot of the experiences I had, and they're also very helpful to me like I wrote six books this year, partially because I have a lot of writings in my computer because I've been teaching workshops now for over 10 years and Teaching trainings, so I have a lot of material. So don't worry if your dream isn't happening yet, you probably gained a lot of the skills you need. Like you probably did Kevin Right. So in all the years in between from that first time of doing your monologue till now you developed your personality and your voice and your skills.
Unknown Speaker 40:20
Well, it's amazing how if you follow them, I got a quick story for you, you know how in your life, things can change that, that then they seem to happen like randomly, but they happen on a dime. And I'm, I was I was a waiter in a restaurant, it was a fine dining restaurant, and one of the other guys was a captain, we became really good friends. And he will open wine and did tableside, Caesars and that kind of thing. And then we became really good friends. And then this was in the summer. He because you as a waiter, I only worked like three or four hours a day. And so I had lots of time, lots of time. And he said, you know, why don't we go to school? I my dad, he works at Green River Community College, which is a college that's in Auburn Washington. And and I want to learn autobody so I Why don't you come with me, and we'll take autobody together. And I said, I hate cars. I hate working on cars, but it's all about it's probably not do me any harm. So we'll we went up to the school. And we stood in line in those days, they didn't have computers yet. So they had little pieces of paper. And they all sat in tables with their little name. And the the the course that they had on the front of the table. Remember that? Yeah. And, and so we get to the front of the line, we've been standing in line, like 30 minutes, just chatting. And he says, You know, I don't think I'm going to do this. And I said, Pardon me. He said that don't think I'm going to do this. I don't feel it. And I said, Well, we came all this way. And he's saying no, but I just don't I want to go to my dad's class you want to come with me, is classroom. And, and I said, No, I'm gonna stay here because I think I think I want to see what's available when I what I want to do. And so I get to the front of the line. And there is a table right in front that says, theater extemporary. That's their drama department at Green River Community College. And at the table was a gentleman who was the course leader, his name is Gary Taylor. And there was nobody sitting there. And so the the gal said, go to whatever table you want. So I went down and sat down next to him. And we talked about it, and I did. And I signed up for improvisational theater, and theater extemporary. And it changed the course of my life. That's where I met my wife. That's where I learned how to act. That's where I learned to do all of that stuff. And it was a completely random event that I had no control over, because I just ended up there. And but it was like the universe was saying, we're gonna have this guy, this is this is I think this is how it works. We're gonna have this guy you see, and he's gonna be a friend of yours. And he's gonna suggest that you go do this thing that he doesn't really want to do either. But he's going to make you go with them. And then he's going to go away. So you're now free to do whatever you want to do. And now you can follow your dream. And so they put the dream square in front of me. And so I joined the theatre department and and then because of a character that I played during improvisational theater, they said, We need this character in the school play. So I was cast in the school play for that fall, I just started school. And so I got to do that. Then I did Fiddler on the Roof. And then I did The Taming of the Shrew as Patricia. And it was all by all by divine guidance, I can't put it any other way. And it's because I was open to it. And if you listen to it, and you're open to it is is that isn't the story that I should write down by the way, you being an
Unknown Speaker 44:09
MC, and you don't have to write it down, because now you have it here. So if you could apply voice to text, you have your first seed for your book. And of course I can help you. But you know what that reminds me because Steve Jobs said, you can't connect the dots. Looking forward. You can only connect the dots looking back. So you don't know why different things are happening. And then when you get to be like I'm middle aged, when you get to be my age, you can look back and be like, Oh, that's why I did that. That's why that happened. And you could understand it more. That's why you shouldn't really say Oh, this was a good event or a bad event. You should just say this happened. What was my lesson? Let me move forward. And as a matter of fact, Steve Jobs had a similar thing to us. So he had dropped out of school but he used to go over to the college and just sit in on classes. One of the classes he sat in on was calligraphy, which is obviously not like a common class people would take, but he was really fascinated with it. And do you know that the reason we have fonts on our computers is because Steve Jobs sat in on that calligraphy class as a fluke? How cool is that?
Unknown Speaker 45:11
Oh, that's amazing. Yeah. Well, you never know what at any given point, you just never know. If if you're open to it now, there's some of us that just shut it down and say, No, I can't do that, or I'm not gonna go do that. But if you're open to it, just just enjoy it. It's, for me, it's part of the enjoyment of life, don't you think?
Unknown Speaker 45:35
It's part of the enjoyment of life, and it you know, I do think life could get boring when you're an adult. So I think it's important to, you know, mix it up a little bit, try something new, you know, go out dancing with your lover, or like, really go take dancing lessons go, there's so many things you could do. And you know what I love? So my husband always love photography. And then recently, he got back into it. And I said, Why don't you go join a photography club. And you know, when he did that, it opened another whole world to you. When we went to that dance party in the morning, all of a sudden, a whole new world opened up. There's so many worlds out there that you could become a part of, if you want to, but you have to take action. Isn't that the key? Kevin, you have to take the action, no one can force you.
Unknown Speaker 46:23
When I was standing in the front of that line, I had a choice. I could either say nah, I'm back, I'll just go with him to his dad's classroom or I could make a choice to step out of the comfort zone, and to go talk to somebody who I'd never met. And and didn't even really understand what he was the courses that he was teaching. So it's it's a choice that we make, and we get those choices all the time. I think the universe sets us up for those choices, and they keep reinventing how they're going to get us to do what it is that we have decided early on what we really want to do. And they're just trying to help us out.
Unknown Speaker 47:01
It'll keep sending the lessons and the lessons get progressively more difficult until you finally listen. That's what I believe.
Unknown Speaker 47:10
You're absolutely correct. And
Unknown Speaker 47:14
then here you go try this. I'm like, I'm not listening still. And then universal, like, Okay, I've got a better one. I'm gonna teach you Carrie. I'm finally like, Okay.
Unknown Speaker 47:25
I believe you're exactly right. And and they and they do it with humor. In a lot of cases. Yes. You
Unknown Speaker 47:33
limping out of it a little bit worse for the wear. Because you didn't listen the first time when the Whisper came. So you had to listen to this scream.
Unknown Speaker 47:43
Well, it was funny because I when I fell, and I fell a couple of times, I was at the doctor's office. And I had a I had a on my right arm, I had a what he called his wild sling. And it was supposed to have a sling on this arm. And now this arm was straight like this. And they wanted me to put a you know, to have this be right here in the sling over here. And I said, Okay, so how am I supposed to you know, like, I don't know, like, walk. The guy looked at me and he goes, this guy really have no earthly idea. And then the nurse left the room and walked down the hall that I can hear her saying, Oh, that poor man.
Unknown Speaker 48:25
Like you're going to figure it out. You work that part out, I did what I could for you. This was the best we could do for you. Oh, sorry.
Unknown Speaker 48:35
It was like, I don't know what I'm gonna do this is so anyway, but it was our lives. I think looking back on it, because I get them I get the benefit of hindsight. And looking back on my life, as well as other people that I've known. It's a beautiful, wonderful experience that we get to have. And we shouldn't be eternally thankful for it. And also, we should learn from it and continue to evolve to do more things. And if we do things to help other people, that's the highest calling that there that we could have.
Unknown Speaker 49:08
That's exactly right. And if you are struggling sort of bored and you don't know if you could make a change. I think that's a great job. A great idea Kevin, you could volunteer once a month even like at a food kitchen or wherever you want to go read books to children or to elderly people. There's so many ways you could give up your time and I even think that the one hour a month you know obviously we could do it every week that's great. But don't make a huge commitment. Just say you know what, once a month I will go to a food kitchen and help out or once a month I will go deliver whatever it is just find something to help others because that's the best way to feel better about yourself. You know, it does help them but it helps you to I think
Unknown Speaker 49:47
I think it helps you more than it helps them quite frankly. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 49:50
it actually does. And that's the same thing with forgiveness. By the way. You don't forgive people for them you forgive it you forgive them for you because And you don't have to be so angry, you know, as a red, you know, red blooded Italian, that lesson was one I'm still trying to learn.
Unknown Speaker 50:09
So is, is you're just one of the Italian families and they're big families and like every Sunday, they all get together and, and have this great big feast together and stuff like that, I would
Unknown Speaker 50:20
have loved it if we were that I always cook like that. And I always like to have, we have our holidays like that. But we didn't meet every Sunday, we would probably see each other once a month. And we always have giant, there's a lot of food, let's just say that when you come to my house.
Unknown Speaker 50:37
And by the way, it's since you've made your change from the lawyer to the yoga instructor, and now doing what you're doing coaching, what is your 13 year old think?
Unknown Speaker 50:47
You know what my younger kids are happy that this happened. Because I've been in the wellness world now for 10 years, and I've been a coach for most of it, a teacher for all of it, and then now an author, but they're happy because I'm happier. And I also I really have a much better temperament in general, because I use all of these practices that I teach, you know, I don't just teach this stuff, I actually practice it. Most of it. I've been practicing for many, many years, decades, in some cases. So I've learned a lot, I have a lot of tools to teach people. And you know, I kind of give you all the tools I teach you all the tools. You take which ones you want, put them into your tool chest, and then you use them when you need them. That's my whole entire concept of how do you make change? How do you actually do it?
Unknown Speaker 51:34
Exactly, exactly. And you know, my oldest son, I get the biggest kick out of because I started this in 2003. And so he was 20 years younger. So he was 15. And so he thought that I was nuts for you know, you're gonna go on the radio, what are you going to, you know, and stuff. And so he thought I was nuts. But over time, he's learned that oftentimes, what I believe to be true is actually true. I'll give you an example. Last year, he was in an apartment that was one bedroom apartment, the end of his neighbor's, he had a dog, and the dog was, you know, chewing up everything and and stuff. And he had a job he hated and he didn't have a significant other. And I and he said, you know, Dad, I hate my job I hate where I live, I don't have a girlfriend, the only thing I've got is my dog. And I said, Well, you know your dog is good, but be grateful for your life because everything is good. And everything's gonna work out just fine. You'll see a year later. He has a house. He's got a girlfriend. He's got a job that adores him, everything in his life has completely changed. And he still won't recognize that. Yeah, he was responsible for all of it. And it's a gift from the Divine. But he but you know, he'll get it. He'll get it sooner or later.
Unknown Speaker 52:55
I hope no. Why? Because once you get what you wanted, you forget it that you wanted it. And you all of a sudden make a new list.
Unknown Speaker 53:04
Why do we do that?
Unknown Speaker 53:05
I don't know. I think we do it to torture ourselves. Right? Because I have like everything I want but I'm still not happy. I'm like, really carry? What would it take? And really, we should all be thankful just for getting up and being able to breathe every day we forget that don't mean, we really
Unknown Speaker 53:21
do we really do until until we come to that day when we're no longer breathing, then it's like, oh, geez,
Unknown Speaker 53:28
I appreciate him. Why didn't I appreciate him more? Why didn't I do more good? Why don't I help more people. And oftentimes I teach my clients, one of the greatest things you could do every morning and it's definitely depressing is remember, you're going to die one day, because it'd be a lot more careful about what you do with your day and what you say to people.
Unknown Speaker 53:50
That's very true. That's very well, the thing of the day that bothers me the most is Are you familiar with near death experiences? And yeah, a lot of them will say that, while they are clinically dead, they'll go on the other side. And they have what's called this life review. And a lot of them will say that, in during this life review, they don't just look at their lives, they are immersed in it, and they take on some of the things that we did to other people. And, and so, if we were like as a kid, if we were a bully, now we get to be bullied by ourselves because we're now you know, because it's like, I don't want that to happen to me I want to be have good things for people to say and, and good things for for people to care about you and your whole life and stuff. So it's but you know, we're going to continue. I know that for a fact that one of these days, you're when we pass away, we get to go and then we can come back for you do whatever it is, I know that for a fact. So I'm excited about today, I'm excited for the future.
Unknown Speaker 55:06
I'm excited for the future too. And I think it's important to remember that we're lucky to be alive. We came through a difficult time with the pandemic. And now we can recreate our lives and new, you don't have to go back to all the things that you've ever done was like, I want to go back to the way it was like, Do you really? Or do you want to make it that? Or do you want to learn a lesson from what you learn sitting home? And do you want to go out and make a new life the life you always wanted? Or do you just want to, you know, revert back and if you if you're smart, you will decide what were the good things about the pandemic? What things that I learned, what helped me? And then what do I want to change, and you could change your whole life, I think, and it just doesn't have to be everything at once. Start small.
Unknown Speaker 55:49
You said the moment the magical words just a minute ago, when you said, recreate your life anew, we have that opportunity to do that when we get up in every morning. Yep, every morning, you hit the snooze alarm, you do what you suggest for five minutes or 10 minutes or 15. Then when you get up, you have an A you have that opportunity to create your life, absolutely from the beginning. And because you can't do anything about yesterday, tomorrow doesn't exist until today. So all you've got us today. So just take care of yourself. And to deuce do whatever you choose, whatever will make you happy. Or if you've got to go to work, go to work, but do the best job you can.
Unknown Speaker 56:34
Doing, do the best job you can. And if you start your day off, right, even for five minutes and end your day for five minutes doing something for yourself. And you know, kind of putting down all the luggage from the day you you know that every day, you're going to begin and end in a beautiful way, it almost doesn't matter what happens in the middle.
Unknown Speaker 56:53
It's exactly right. And Carrie Fisher has been our guest. And by the way, before we go, I'm going to stand over here. And I want you to tell the audience is listening now and those that will be listening in the future. By the way, she's also going to be on KK and w 11:50am. I'll get back to you with the date or you can look on the schedule, and they will be there. But I want you to tell our audience, anything that you would like them to know,
Unknown Speaker 57:21
I would like you to know that you can be the very best version of yourself. And you can lead the extraordinary life that you dream of. And you start now for five minutes. So even if right now you closed your eyes for five minutes and just relaxed, and just allowed yourself to stay peaceful and calm. That could be the start of your new life. And I will also say this first you dream it so you have to dream what your life will be dream what the best version of yourself is dream it, you have to believe in it. And then in order to achieve it, you have to roll up your sleeves and take some action.
Unknown Speaker 58:05
And get in that canoe and paddle like hell.
Unknown Speaker 58:10
And when you're going backwards, you gotta keep paddling.
Unknown Speaker 58:17
Exactly right. Again, Carrie Fisher, Carrie Fisher coaching.com beautiful website, by the way. Oh, thank you. And and you know, the next time we talk you've written, you've got six books.
Unknown Speaker 58:31
six books I wrote, I published one, my second one's being published next month. It's called routines for extraordinary living. And everything that I'm teaching right now is the stuff I've been teaching for 10 years, it's helped 1000s of people simple tools for extraordinary living. How do you actually take action? Everybody knows what they should do. It's easy to find out how to do it. But when do you do it when I teach you how in the mornings and the evenings all throughout the day. So easy ways to start adding wellness into your life.
Unknown Speaker 59:02
Now you're back east, right? Yeah, I'm
Unknown Speaker 59:04
in the New York. Yeah, that's
Unknown Speaker 59:06
how can I forget you sound like you're from New York? Exactly. It is six o'clock and your 13 year old needs to eat so I'm gonna let you go. Right. So, Carrie, thank you so much for doing this for me. Thanks, Kevin.
Unknown Speaker 59:19
I really enjoyed it. Thanks a lot.
Unknown Speaker 59:21
You are just awesome. So So if you'll wait right there for a second. I'll be right back. Hey, thanks for enjoying this episode all the way to the end. Please give us a like and subscribe to this channel. This has been a production of positive talk radio dotnet please visit our website oddly named positive talk radio dotnet for more details about us and our mission, which is to provide great positive programming designed to inspire us all. I'm Kevin McDonald. I'm proud of these shows, and I'm truly hope that you'll like them and share them with friends and family. So on behalf of our entire team, remember, be kind to one another because each other's Are we done