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376 | A Woman Who Can Do it ALL - Nathalie Plamondon!

December 17, 2022

376 | A Woman Who Can Do it ALL - Nathalie Plamondon!
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Nathalie Plamondon-Thomas, Confidence Expert, 8 times International No.1 Bestselling Author.

We don’t talk to people like this: “Hey, you look fat in these jeans!” or “Hey you are starting a business? It’s never gonna work, you’re not good enough!” – So if we don’t talk to other people like this, why do we talk to ourselves like that?

2021 Canadian Presenter of the Year Nathalie Plamondon-Thomas is a Confidence Expert. She works with people who want to get rid of their negative self-talk and unlock their full potential. She brings entrepreneurs the Clarity they need to make money living from their passion. She is international No.1 Bestselling Author of fifteen books about success, communication, wellness and empowerment. She is the Founder and CEO of the THINK Yourself® ACADEMY, offering keynotes and trainings, leading-edge online courses, laser-focus business strategy and one-on-one transformation coaching.

Along the past 30 years, she has inspired over 100,000 audience members and empowered thousands of clients internationally to get rid of their negative self-talk. She combines over 10 years of experience in human resources, 25 years of experience in sales and over 30 years in the fitness industry. In 2007, she was "Fitness Instructor of the Year" for Canada.

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Transcript

0:00  
This is a production of km media dot Pro.

0:08  
Welcome back to positive talk radio. Our goal is simple to explore evolving ideas one conversation at a time. So come on over into our world. I know you'll like it. Because on today's show,

0:22  
I gotta tell you, we don't often get a chance to talk to people of this caliber. And I'm really excited that she is here to talk with us today. She is an award winning coach, author, speaker. She doesn't she does really does it all. And she is a great human being. And before I introduce her, though, I've got to talk to Nathan a little bit. How are you Nathan? I'm doing good. But more importantly, how are you? It sounds like you had quite the trial this week. But in a word, yes. Pun intended. Pun intended. Yes, indeed, I actually had to run encore presentations on Monday and Wednesday, because I was stuck outside of a courtroom in snowy Spokane waiting to testify because I'm because I was a bus driver for 12 years. And I know quite a little bit about being a bus driver, I was called as an expert witness for a case that they had over there and, and I thought it was gonna be a Monday quickie out by Tuesday. I ended up staying the night on Monday, Tuesday when and then ended up having to drive home on Thursday in the snowy 20 degree weather all the way from there to here. So I'm a little tired. But it was it was quite a week. And I've got some stories to tell. And we'll get into that. Now. Maybe not today but because I want to spend most of the time with Natalie but

1:50  
but we'll get into some of the unique things that I found over time in Spokane. First of all, I gotta tell you, the

2:00  
the courthouse there was built in like, I don't know, oh five or something like that, like 1905. And they don't have any

2:09  
any kiosks for coffee or anything. So there's you spend all day there and there's a leg a drinking fountain. And that's how you get then you're sitting there and in, in the in the trial all day and you're not even in the trial. You're in the lobby because you're not allowed to listen to anything that's going on. So anyway, it was a lot of fun. But more importantly, Nathan, we've got a wonderful guest. And because I do so well at last names. I'm not even going to attempt Natalie's last name. I let her let her say and Natalie, how are you? I'm great. Kevin, my last name isn't clamored on Thomas. I'm sure he would have done fine.

2:49  
Just say that again? Don't Thomas

2:54  
There you go. There we go. Very famous French Canadian name. Oh, yeah. Oh, very cool. Kind of like MacDonald in in Ireland kind of thing. There you go. It's a very, very much a you are you're an extraordinary, one young lady. And I'm so glad that you're here because you're going to be able to help people today. And by the way, if you want to follow along with us, you can go to think yourself.com And you can find out all about the work that she does the coaching the speaking the books, she's written all you do it all, it's just really quite amazing. And how did you get started in this business doing so much for people? I have to say that

3:38  
I had a dream. I wanted to be a professional speaker. But I had the voice in my head telling me what you want to be a speaker like in English, like you don't even speak English. You want to write books in English? Are you kidding me? It's never gonna work, you're not good enough. And, and I realized that this voice in my head was not helping me at all. And, and I needed to, to change the way that I talked to myself. And that's when I started to

4:06  
study neuroscience and I created a system to reprogram the six layers of the brain that need to be addressed in order to really make a transformation to really make a permanent change. Because we we have all these little you know, we change a little habit here and there. And we think it's going to change our world and then

4:24  
just like everybody's probably going to do on January 1, you know that resolution and then starting January 15, they will probably drop their membership at the gym and then in February, nobody's gonna go anymore. You know, like it's just

4:39  
we need to make changes at a much deeper level. We need to work in a lot more than we work out because back then it was personal trainer, fitness instructor and Nutrition Wellness specialist and I was helping people with their health and I realized you know what, we need to work in even more than we need to work out. We need to really change the

5:00  
negative self talk the limiting belief and all that stuff. It's eating us alive. But we don't talk to people like that. Are you? Do you walk around Kevin? Hey, oh, hi, you look really fat. Oh, hi, you selling your business? Oh, it's never gonna work. You're not good enough. Like, we don't do that. We don't talk to people like this. But we talk to ourselves like that it's totally wrong. Totally wrong, isn't it? You started out as a in in Canada, you are a very famous world renowned fitness trainer and nutrition coach, correct? Yeah, so that was back in the days now I'm more known for the confidence work that I do. But yeah, I was fitness instructor of the year for Canada in 2007. So that's over 15 years ago, when I started my mindset journey. Now I'm very proud to be known as a, as a speaker, as a conference, I was 2021, Canadian presenter of the year for Canada.

5:55  
More known now for the for the confidence for the mindset, I had a big, big thing that just happened to me, actually, just to show you how much confidence is more sexy now, because when I started talking on confidence 15 years ago, people were not really into this, you know what I mean? Like I was offering my services to speak in organization to associations, and I, you know, confidence was not super and people wanted to have hard skill. But nowadays, mindset is what everything is after I even got a call from Kevin Harrington from the Shark Tank. And in Jim, Brett, they wanted me to write a chapter in their most recent book, cracking the rich code, because they understand that mindset is everything. Our book is endorsed on the cover by Tony Robbins. So I have to tell you, highly successful people and the major leagues have understood that mindset is everything. So now confidence is very popular. Everybody's talking about it. Everybody needs it. And now we understand that mindset is the element that that is missing very often in all the changes and all the things that we're trying to do. I know you've been doing this a lot, and you studied it a lot. Why is it that we do what we do to ourselves, because it seems to be really self defeating? Yet we continue to do it. And sadly, a lot of us believe in what we are telling ourselves which has nothing to do with the truth. I know it's absolutely crazy. I have a super funny story I can tell you about that. Just before we move on, and in me answering your question as to why we do this? Well, the answer is simple. We respond to the, to the language and the words that we're hearing in our head. But here's something that happened to me when I moved to Toronto, from Quebec. So a small, small town girl, and then I get into big Toronto City, I started working in a gym and I was new. And I don't know if you've been there before, maybe everybody's listening today. You've you've been in a position in your life where you didn't know a lot of people you were you were just starting and you didn't know what you were doing. And well, that's me that was that? And how do you go from that from I was begging my boss from pulling my classes off the schedule, because there was only two people in the room. And you know, I was really not missing my name popular, right? Like, nothing was working for me. So how do you go from that to becoming fitness of the year for Canada less than a year later. And I'll tell you what happened. The gym was introducing a new dance program. And nobody knew that about me. But I do have a dance background. So I had been a dancer before moving to Toronto, but people didn't know that about. So picture yourself. So you're onstage and then you're presenting to over 150 other instructors in the Toronto Region, they're all much better than you and then you're super embarrassed, but you you know, push through and then you're onstage and you totally rock it. Like you know when you know when you got it. But you remember that time when when you're doing something and you're like, Oh yeah, I'm in my element. I am totally rocking this. And then you can see all the faces turning towards you with a shocked look on their face. And then because they have no idea that you can dance like that, right? So I don't know what it would do for you. But for me, it had a huge impact. I started strutting around in the gym, putting my hand up to be team leader for this team leader for that. And then my classes became really packed because I was showing so much confidence. So one day one of the participant corners me in the gym, and the change woman says Natalie, I have to tell you, we really started respecting you since what happened to you on that day, like you started acting as if you own the place

10:00  
instead of being embarrassed, I'm like, What? What do you mean embarrassed? Well, Kevin, it turns out that I had a wardrobe malfunction that day, my boy had been sticking out the whole time. That's why everybody was looking at me with a shocked look on their face, it had nothing to do about me being a good dancer. But I didn't know that I was responding to a different story in my head, right? So instead of that, I was responding to a different story. And when she told me, I was really, really embarrassed, but it was too late, I was already the queen of the gym. So it didn't really matter. After all what had happened, what had happened to me, because I had responded to a different story in my head. So that's, that's what I do for a living, I teach people how to change the story inside our head change, change the story that we respond to, so that it has a positive impact, because it doesn't matter, one of the most embarrassing moment of my life could have ruined me. And instead, it had a very different impact. So we only respond to the story in our head. And that is why people do the reverse of what they know they should be doing because they listen to that voice inside their head. And we need to reprogram that voice to tell us what we need to hear what we want to hear. I don't know if that makes sense. And then it does it and doesn't do it. That's it. That's an incredible story, by the way. And unfortunately, you didn't know about the malfunction until you are off stage or a long time, later, months later, does that that that could have been, you know, really unique. And, of course, nobody pointed at you in and anyway, so I won't, we're not for that. But it I got to ask you, it's great that you've developed that experience. And you're and you've got the confidence and you're the confidence coach, and you're able to do that. Why is it that we have so many people in our lives? And I know you've worked on this when worked with people a great deal about this? Why do we have so many people in our lives, who don't think that we can do stuff, they when we say I want to do this, they say oh, now Natalie, Natalie, Natalie, you could, you know, get your head out of the cloud, you've got to go get a job and you've got to you're gonna you got to pay rent, and you want to be a what you want to see, and you want to be the best in the world? I'll come on you can't you? Why do we have so many people that act like that to us? Well, I we're talking about support system here. And when everybody's only operating in their own model of reality. So if themself have

12:54  
a low self esteem, or they're experiencing impostor syndrome, or they are themselves unsure, and not confident, of course, they will project that to people around now, if there's so many people in your surrounding that are like that, it's on you, you got to change the people you hang out with just saying, You know what I mean? Like, we always, we kind of choose the people around us. And, and if, and if we can't choose them, like we cannot choose to change parents or change our siblings or like family is family, but we can choose to spend less time with them. If they are very toxic for us, the first thing we always do with people that we love with our friends that are very negative, is try to help them of course, we start there, we start to make them listen to this show today. And we you send them a copy of my new book, thank you so confident for Christmas, and, and you you try to help them of course, we start there, after a while when you realize that some people won't support you, they are in your environment, and you're only the average of the five people you spend the most time with. So you got to start hanging out with people that will that will be a good influence on you. And that will increase your average instead of you being the most positive person in your surrounding then you increase their average and if you're the smartest people in the room, you're in the wrong room. You got to you got to keep hanging out with people that will lift up your your own average, right? So have you noticed if you notice that when when you do that when you when you raise your game and raise your vibration and you're really working to be the best that you can be and you believe in yourself that those people tend to kind of fall away over time, don't they? Exactly because we step up to the next level and and some people were a stepping stone towards

15:00  
This next level of our life, and eventually, they might step up later and join you at that level, but maybe you'll be ready to go to the next level again. So people are stepping stones around us. And we are, you know, like, I don't know, a lot of people that are with their very first boyfriend that they met in high school, you know, like they, they, they have met many different people before marrying the person that will be their spouse forever, right. So, we, we all learn from each experience from each relationship from each job. So my husband worked for the same company for 38 years, but not everybody will have that chance to have one job. Right. So most people do so many different things, because we're, we're just going through life, and everything is a stepping stone, in our own journey. So it doesn't really matter at the end. If, if people that are not at your level anymore, you seem to disconnect and, and that's, it's on us to make sure to keep the to keep the the links, and then to keep the relationship with people that we believe are important. And then if we believe that we need to move on, then then it's okay as well. Nobody's going to be mad at us for

16:28  
for going to another level, right. And sometimes they go to the next level and we stay. Right. Not always can be. Exactly. You know, it was funny, because

16:41  
when I was testifying on finally it testified on Wednesday. And he said, Okay, let's go through your background, what have you done? What are you what are your jobs you've had, and the way that it came out? It sounded like, I can't keep a job. Because I've done so many different things. It was an over time. And and I actually said that I said it, wouldn't you think that I can't keep a job. But every time that I changed jobs, it was for a better deal. And it was to improve myself and to continue moving on. And, and I think we all need to do that. But I'll tell you, when I started the radio in 2003, I had a group of friends, I had a wife, I had all of these things well, at the end of that, and through the, the the post radio years, they all went away every one of them. But I have now replaced them with people that believe in me, and believe what I can do. And so and so I am so blessed and gifted to be with people like you, rather than with people like them, because you can help me attain a new level to get to the next level, rather than rising to the top of that. And they say, well, that's enough, you know, you can you tried, you can't do it and whatever they want to say, but they're all gone. Every one of them including my wife, now you go, Oh, there you go. Oh, yeah, you know, you know, I have to say that the, the people that you surround yourself with, that's the base, that's the environment. That's the first level, remember, I was talking about six layers of a person's brain, the first level of a person's self is their environment, and it includes the people around us. So that is very important that we set this straight, it's the first step, or people around you,

18:34  
supporting you. And and it starts with ourselves as well. Are we

18:41  
are we believing in ourselves, right? So it's not just everybody around us? And we cannot just point fingers and say, Well, of course, I don't have my dream job. Because look at who's around me? Well, we, we still need to go to the other five layers of a person self and then look into our beliefs into our values into our identity, our skill, that our behaviors, our purpose. So there's lots of other things to consider.

19:08  
But the environment is, if it's a very toxic environment, we cannot really go far without a positive environment around us. And isn't it? I'll give you I'll give you an example that I've used in the past and that is, when I was in my early 20s. I was an actor, and I was doing stage plays. And I did Fiddler on the Roof a show called dark at the top of the stairs. And also

19:36  
my Taming of the Shrew. And I was the lead I was Patricia. And

19:42  
the interesting thing about that is you can not do that and have a doubt about what you're going to do. Yes, you prepare. You will understand your lines but if you are standing there right before the curtain opens, and you're saying I'm going to forget my lines and I don't know my blocking and I'm not not going to be

20:00  
believable, and they're going to pull me off the stage, you're not going to be successful, you have to believe in yourself at some level. That's, that's, that's now what level would that be on in the in the scale of six. That's in the beliefs and value. So it's what we believe is true is how we associate different events and how we respond to them. So give you an example, because you talked about stepping on stage. So let's say we talk about Mark, and Cindy. So Mark is about to step on stage, and his heart starts to beat really fast. And, uh, you can probably relate to that. But then you can hear the crowd, you can hear the music playing, and it's fading away. So it's gonna be time to step on stage. So your heart is pounding, and then your mouth gets dry, your palms get sweaty, right? So then mark is about to step on stage. And his hardest pounding is like, oh, my gosh, I'm so stressed out, is mouth gets dry. And then he says, Oh, my gosh, I'm going to forget my lines. And then his palms get sweaty. And he says, oh, no, that's the song, I'm probably going to screw it up tonight. So then, Karen is on the other side, she's on stage left, and the music is playing and it's starting to fade, it's going to be time for her to step on stage, because she's in the first scene with Mark. And then Cindy, our heart starts pounding like crazy. And our mouth gets dry, and our palms get sweaty, same physiological responses to that same event. So she says, Oh, my gosh, my heart is beating so fast, I'm pumping energy, my mouth is getting dry. That means that I'm going to be super eloquent tonight, my palms are sweaty, that's a sign, I'm going to knock it out of the park.

21:55  
So you could decide what it means for you, you could decide to respond to a different story in your head. And in a lot of times, if if things happen to us a couple of times where your palms get sweaty, and then you get nervous, and then you do something bad, then sometimes you generalize, because that's one of the function of the brain, the brain has four major different function in generalizing is one of them, you do something once, and your brain really likes to compartmentalize all these little things into neat little boxes, and then the generalizes that once it has happened a couple of times, it will always happen this way. Or there's a lot of generalization like Blondes have a lot more fun, or generalization like, oh, yeah, teenagers are unreliable staff, or, you know, there's a lot of things that people have generalized. And it's, it's not really true all the time, it just that we've done some generalization that are not serving us, or, well, when you make more money, you spend more money, so you always live paycheck to paycheck. So these generalization also known as limiting beliefs, and that's in the belief, the fourth layer, of of a person's brain, it's those beliefs that are holding us back. And then you get to the identity level, level five, which is the I am everything you say, after thee I am I am shy, or I am nervous or I am weak, I am not good enough. And the problem is when these problems happen at these levels at the I am not good enough, people try to fix that at another level. So they tried to fix the identity problem, I am not good enough, with an environmental solution, buying a big truck, or expensive designer shoes for Right. Like it's not gonna work, you can't fix at environmental level, a problem that's happening at identity level, or if you have a limiting belief that when you lose weight, you will always get it back. A lot of people have this limiting belief. And they tried to fix that at level two and behaviors like exercising and eating well, they try to exercise and eat well. But this is the behavior. You need to change the belief that when you lose weight, you're always getting it back. Because if you have that belief in your mind, it's not by exercising and eating well, which is just behavior that you're going to fix the belief you need to fix the belief at the belief level. You need to change that. Does that make sense? Oh, that's perfect. That's absolutely perfect. Now I want to open up the phone lines a little bit. If that's all right with you. We didn't discuss it. And if somebody is interested here, here's the here's the deal, everybody.

24:47  
You are probably maybe left to work at a random having lunch you stopped in and got your lunch and you're and you're in your car and you're listening to the radio when you just happened. It's and this happened just the other day on the show.

25:00  
I got called. And she said, You know, I just got into the car and I was, I was tuning the dial and I ran across your station. And you were this is what you were talking about. And it made a big difference to me. And so I was really curious. And of course, that was all just pure coincidence. No, it was, by design that they were going to show up that day, because they needed to hear that message. And very much so it's somebody who's sitting if you're sitting in your car, and you're having lunch, and you're enjoying the show, because I were talking with Natalie, who's one of the premier coaches in the world. Today, and and mindset change and, and confidence coaching, and everything that she does, if you are lacking that, if you feel like you can do more, but don't know how to get there, she can help you. So what I would love for you to do is for her to give us a call. And Nathan's gonna give you the numbers and you can then talk with us, and we can help you help yourself because we can't fix it for you. But we can help you help yourself. Is that correct? Natalie? Absolutely. Nathan, what are the numbers, those phone numbers are 425-373-5527 or toll free at 1-888-298-5569. That'll get you into the positive talk radio show with Kevin MacDonald and Natalie Palumbo, Don Thomas.

26:22  
It's hard for me to Kevin, I even had trouble typing it.

26:28  
Oh, that makes me feel so much better. So. So Natalie, if you could give us your full name again, Natalie plumbworld. Autonomous. Perfect. And you can go to think yourself.com. And you can find out all the information about her. You can hire as a speaker, as a coach, she's got books that you can buy programs that you can, that you can access all kinds of different things. So again, our phone number is and we're going to take a quick break to give you a chance to, you know, put on your big girl or big boy pants, and to give us a call and because it can help you and you'll never get anywhere if you don't ask any questions and if you don't really strive for it. So if you are interested in being better tomorrow than you are today, this is the show, this is the time for you to give us a call. Again, that number is 425-373-5527. And we're talking with Natalie and think yourself happy Think yourself competent, think yourself into a whole new world. But you got to give us a call and we'll walk you through it. So give us a call right now. We're gonna take a real quick break. Natalie is with us and we will be right back after these are just two minutes so that gives you lots of time to put your big boy pants on and they give us a call. Okay, so Nathan is standing there waiting so we'll be right back.

27:51  
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28:28  
Hey there, I'm excited that you're listening right now. And if you like what we're doing here, you're gonna love positive talk radio dotnet on positive talk radio.net Each show which is recorded live is packed with positive information with real people discussing real issues and positive solutions that can work for everyone. I hope that you'll join us on positive talk radio.net And listen to all 340 Plus shows. I think it's worth your time. That's just me that's positive talk radio.net your home for great progressive positive podcasts

29:05  
and all come back everybody to positive talk radio right here on K K NW. 11:50am. My name is Kevin McDonald. I'm your host and Nathan is standing right there and it doesn't look like you're answering the phone young man. It hasn't been two minutes. Yeah, that was a pretty quick commercial break. You really was well I you know, there are times when I'll play a couple of more. But in this particular case, this guest is is so dynamic and it's such great information that I kind of shortened it a little bit the boss gets mad at me but I'm the boss but that's I guess that's okay. So in any event, we're talking with Natalie I'm not even gonna Thomas

29:45  
Natalie P Thomas. Just go with it. Oh perfect. VP told me that I can do I can do and she is a an extraordinary coach and she's a wonderful human being and she is

30:00  
interested in helping you achieve the best that you can be. And we all, you know, Natalie, I'm a little bit older now, and I recognize

30:11  
that life is,

30:14  
I don't know if I could say this on the radio, but life is terminal,

30:17  
you're only going to be here for so long, and then you're not going to be here anymore. And so while you're here, it's important for you to be what you want it to be before you even came here. And to follow your heart and to and to follow the everything that you've always wanted to be, is within your grasp. All you have to do is want it and understand the method that you use to get there. And again, I'm going to invite you to give us a call one more time. 425-373-5527. And, Natalie, do you agree with that statement that the word not here forever? And that we are if we're not living our best life, every day, we're wasting our life needlessly? 100%. Kevin, it's, I like to give the analogy of a drawer like inside that drawer, you have all the answers all you at your very best, full potential, like, you know, when when you you're at your very best, you know, like you, you're feeling amazing, you're, you're feeling great, you feel that you're you feel genuinely happy. And you have this moment where you're like, you know what, I got this, I am very happy, I'm satisfied. I've, I've got my, I said the right thing I was at my very best, because too often, you finish it in is I wish I had done this, I wish I had said that. You recall a conversation and you use that you think, should have said this instead? Or I should have answered that. And all these answers, all you at your very best is inside this drawer. And it's inside your brain, and you just open the drawer and you respond. But the problem is, when we go through life, a whole bunch of junk gets accumulated in the drawer over top of your best self. And all that stuff is, is a whole bunch of crap that we need to get rid of. Because let's say you're, you've got this super stressful conversation at work, or you've got these bills to pay, or this is all on top of the drawer. And you're in the kitchen cooking dinner, your daughter comes behind you and says, Hey, Daddy, and you're like, what? And you're like, Oh, this is not how I wanted to respond. I didn't know I want to say that to my daughter, you knew the answer in your drawer, you have the perfect answer. And it is yesterday, what can I do for you. That's what you wanted to say. But you were responding with all the stuff that was accumulated over top of that perfect response in your drawer. And that was not your very best you were responding with emotional reaction. So with, with anger, with fear, with sadness, with guilt, with hurt with all this stuff, that that that, that we need to disconnect that we need to get rid of, because it's not helping us to respond with all this junk, we need to that's what I do for a living, I help people get rid of the stuff in their drawer that is no longer serving them. We disconnect the emotional connection. So instead of responding with fear, or responding with anger or responding with, with not our best self, we can have access, right? As soon as you open the door at the door, you get access to your best self and you can live your full potential you at your very best because we know what to do we know what we should be doing. And most times, we just don't do it. Right. Oh,

34:00  
the same that happened to me this week. As a matter of fact,

34:04  
because I flew into Spokane, on Monday afternoon, when I went to a hotel to stay there. And the front, the front desk GAO was there. And it was like I was just checking in. And so we had a nice conversation and I was pleasant and smiling and stuff like that, which I generally am all the time anyway. And so then I stayed the night and then went to court and sat there and sat there

34:33  
and sat there. We came out about four o'clock in the afternoon and said, Well, you know what, we're not going to get to you today today. So we're hopeful to get to you tomorrow. So then I grabbed my stuff and I went back to the rental car and I got back to the hotel. I chose to go back to the same hotel because I checked out already. So I was gonna be there one day, same girls at the front desk. And she goes, you're back. I said yeah, they

35:00  
They canceled on another day and so on. And so and so I stayed that night. And we had another pleasant conversation and then stayed that night and then went to work and went back to the courthouse and waited, and waited, and waited until finally at 330, they called me to testify and I was done by for 20. But it was getting dark. And there was there in Spokane right now there's like a foot of snow on the ground. And so it's it's it's snowy everywhere and the roads, you know, it was 20 degrees. And I didn't want to drive and I couldn't get a flight out. So I tried to get a flight couldn't get a flight out and ended up renting a car so that I could drive back to Seattle. So I had to spend another night in the hotel. And at this point, I spent time in the court, I spent time at the rental car, I spend time with the airline trying to get a book or book a flight that I could not get them the rental car was in so I had the I had the choice. And for me, it was a clear choice, I could be angry at the situation that I had no control over, or take it out on the first human being that I interacted with, which again, was the same night clerk at the hotel.

36:14  
So it was like three nights in a row. And so I could have made that decision to be angry and and look what they did to me and what was me and stuff rather than I was pleasant and nice. We had a nice conversation, we laughed a bit about the fact that I was here again, she said you better not come back tomorrow, I'm not gonna let you in. And

36:35  
then and stuff. But so it's it's a choice that we get to make how we're going to respond to those things in life that happened to us, is that right? Correct. We are making a choice.

36:47  
Sometimes, it's deep rooted at an unconscious level. So you've done a lot of work yourself, Kevin, and you you are consciously using your tools using your strategies in order to make these choices. Very often when I work with people.

37:08  
And emotional prefrontal cortex overload, you can really control that you like it, if you don't have the tools, if you if you did not do the pre work, let's say and, and we're not bad people, because we lash out in anger, we just have a lot of accumulated anger that was not dealt with. And it's perfectly normal. Just like going to the dentist, people eat food, food gets stuck, it's perfectly normal. You've never told one of your friend, what you go to the dentist, oh, well, well, we don't state we don't judge our friend because they go to the everybody goes to dented everybody has cavities sometimes, and it's perfectly normal. I'm like a brain dentist. So if you have cavities, it's normal that you'll go to the dentist and get the filling done. It's not by brushing your teeth very, very well with a good toothpaste overtop of the cavity that the cavity is going to go away. So that's, that's how I try to explain to people, I know you're doing everything right. Sometimes you just need your fillings done. And I'm going to give you an example of I do a lot of PTSD work, trauma with Army vet with people that have been through through trauma, or through abuse, to rape through kidnappings through

38:30  
their spouse passed away in a very tragical way, or that there's lots of things that happen to people and that creates an emotional connection to some triggers. And this happens at an unconscious level, you can really do that at a logical level of, I'm just going to choose to be happy right now. It's just it just a little deeper than that sometimes. So that's why I'm saying

38:57  
it's not as easy as telling somebody, oh, you just have to choose to be happy. Well tell that to a veteran that's coming back from from the field, right. So there, there are tools, there are strategies, there are things we can do. And there is some work that can be can be done at an unconscious level to make sure that we we get rid of that connection with the with the emotion that was coming in with that trigger. Does that make sense? Oh, absolutely. And I agree with you in is about not only doing the work but understanding that there that there is work to do. Yeah, that's right. You know, because so many of us don't really recognize we act the way we act. So I've heard that so many times people say well I that's just the way I am. That's just the way I act and there's just nothing I can add to it just the way I am sorry. You know, take me or leave me but that's just the way I am. It doesn't have to be if you if you do the work, but the work is and oftentimes when we're talking about re

40:00  
For we're talking about PTSD or, or traumatic situations, you need help. You need someone to help you with that. And because it's virtually impossible to do it on your own, at least that's been my experience. Is that true? You can't really tickle yourself, right?

40:19  
Well, like, try it, it just doesn't work, right?

40:23  
So good. I haven't know exactly what to do myself, I know how to do that I do this day in day out. That's what that's why people tell me, that's what people pay me is, is for me to do that. For them. I know all the steps, I know exactly what to do. I can't do it. For me, I also have two different coaches that I work with, when I need a process done. When I need, you know, a certain protocol done or whatever, I work with fellow practitioners, and they helped me. And it's perfectly normal. It's not like I don't eat food, and I don't never need to go to the dentist. Everybody does. It's normal. Everybody has a problem with anger, fear, hurt, sadness, guilt, these are the top five. And sooner or later, they start showing up in our life between the ages of zero and seven. So if you're older than seven years old, you've experienced all these fights, anger, fear, hurt, sadness, guilt, you've experienced traumatic event, there's a lot of ways and I really recommend that you reach out. If there's anything that sounds

41:26  
that could apply to you because traumatic event, you don't need to have been in a house on fire in order to experience trauma. Sometimes it's that conversation that will replay in your head, sometimes it's people that are afraid of flying, or people that are vertigo, or they're there's very often a trauma that is that is causing that. Or if it's a grief, that you're trying to get over that. It's been many, many years, I've just helped a woman that her husband passed away 20 years ago, and she was still not fully recovered. She kept having nightmares. She kept having flashbacks. So if you have flashbacks of of a of something that happened to you, even if it's really

42:12  
normal, like a conversation, or that potentially is PTSD, and I'm happy to have a free virtual coffee with you, we'll evaluate. So I have I use the Pssi form, which is a formal form to evaluate the the the subjective units of distress, if you like, just so that we know your score, and then we can tell is this PTSD? Or is it not? And would you be helped with the, with the protocol that I that I use in order to get rid of that because we don't know all the impact that these trauma can have on our life. And I'm very happy to just have a virtual coffee with you. So go to think yourself.com/schedule. So thank you somewhere comm slash schedule, and then you can book a free virtual coffee with me, I'm happy to offer that to all your audience and your listeners today. My pleasure. Thank you so much. Thank you. And by the way, and I'm just gonna do a public announcement here public service announcement. And that is we have a new number in the United States. And I want everybody to write this number down. If you can't remember, write it down. It's really simple. It's 988. If you is a crisis hotline for PTSD, and other trauma events, that you can get immediate help from somebody on the other line, who's trained to be able to help you and to enter into if you're feeling and if you're feeling suicidal, if you're feeling like life is getting it can't get any better. Call 988 I just wanted to get that out there again. I didn't know that like the 911 or the 411. And it's 9898. I love that. Yeah, so it's and then after you do that, and you you climb down off the ceiling, then call Natalie and go to go to think yourself.com and sign up for a free coffee. And you can sit and talk with her. And she is an honest to goodness real person. And she's she's extraordinary. So that's, that's that's what you do it or save that number for somebody else. Or think think yourself a doctor think You think yourself that God is a number that that you can give to anybody and, or a website. If you have a friend, we all have a friend if you if you are whatever your situation is, and there's some horrific situations out there.

44:44  
So you know, do do that. Do that for Natalie, and do that for yourself. Really, honestly. And so So Natalie, where do you see yourself going from here? Are you I see you on TV sometime.

44:59  
There's lots

45:00  
Have things coming up for me.

45:02  
I, honestly this, you're gonna laugh.

45:06  
I've written 17 books. And I'm just in at the end of the month. So I think in about two weeks, so it might be into January, I'm launching my new book, thank you self confident. So that's that that was a you're gonna laugh because think is of confidence should have been my very first book.

45:25  
I have 17 books, and I still have not written Thank you self confident. That's really, that's really interesting. But I've written everything else. And to think yourself series, think yourself successful fingers over relationship, pro, think yourself healthy things. I'm grateful thank you. So, but I did not, I did not have things self confident yet. It's one of the masterpiece I feel like I've started years ago, and I can't I keep adding to it, adding to it, adding to it. And now it's time, it's time for me to release my baby. So I'm very excited about that. So this is going to be the next, the next piece of God, so many reorders already from businesses or

46:07  
buying this for the whole staff for all their clients, we're going to be custom printing the inside cover of the book with a letter from the CEO of the company, and then on the inside cover and the back will put us a special message from them as well. So we have that. So that's my next big project, let's say is the launch of the things is of confidence books, I'm very excited about that. You know, that's really cool. Because the Think yourself is a is a franchise all unto thee. It's like Chicken Soup for the Soul, is what you're doing. And because there are a bunch of those books out, and you're doing the same thing in different aspects of how to improve your life so that you can you can live the life that you that the universe is in the Spirit and God who whoever you call the Creator, that's who they decided that that's what who you should be. And sometimes life gets in the way. But you can you can you can make it you can do it. You can you can really can. And congratulations, I think that's awesome. I'm very excited about it. I'm very I love it. I usually when I finish a book, it's already old, and I don't love it anymore. You know, like when you drive up off the parking lot with a brand new car, it's already old, and it already lost like 10 grand of value, right? As soon as you drive off off the parking lot from the dealership. But I have to say that this book is so awesome. I've worked so hard on it.

47:34  
I'm very happy with it. I can't wait for it to be out there in the world. And

47:39  
it's a good one. It's a good one. I'm very proud of you. And I want to thank you very much for you've come on my show a couple of times. Yes, I really appreciate you coming here. And we have such dynamic conversations. It's really a lot of fun when you come back and bother me again. Absolutely. It's so much fun. Kevin, you're one of the best hosts. And what I love

48:03  
is that it's a conversation. You know, it's not a nothing was planned. Actually, this was.

48:12  
Yeah, I love that. We just have a conversation and and you have great stories, then it's really fun. It's really fun interacting with you and Nathan, is I have to tell you this, this is really true, is I don't script any of the shows, because they are by design going to happen the way that they're supposed to. And I firmly believe and I know this to be true that there is like I said earlier there is somebody who is sitting in their car, in the driveway of their home. They don't have an am radio in the house. And they're sitting in the car with the engine on because it's cold outside listening to the show because they're getting information that they need that can change their life. I really honestly believe that to be true. Absolutely. Can I give your audience a quick two step technique? Yes, that's really useful. So let's say you hear a limiting belief in your head like, Oh, I'm so stressed out. And now you're like, oh, no, what did I just say? If I just if I keep repeating, I'm so stressed out, I'm going to be stressed out. So what can I do? So the first step is to rephrase what you just heard in the past. So you use I used to, I used to be stressed out. So that's step number one. Step number two is a progressive statement. A progressive statement starts with I am willing to learn or I'm in the process. So start over, you hear yourself say, Oh, I'm so stressed out all the time. Wait a minute. I used to be stressed out. Now I'm willing to learn how to build a balanced life. Now I'm in the process of changing that. Or I used to be a shopaholic, I used to, you know, have chips as my downfall or I used to whatever it is be addicted to donuts. And now I'm willing to learn how to change that. So

50:00  
change that with that two step technique because you do have a personal assistant in your head that's writing down everything that you say or think and it makes it happen. So if you get up in the morning, like most people look at yourself in the mirror, and you go, Oh, I'm so tired. I'm so stressed out. Oh, I think I'm gaining weight. And your personal assistant would write it down, stressed out tired, getting weighed, perfect. And God this tired. What can I do for this? Oh, I know, I'm going to make her stay awake all night. So she's not going to be able to sleep, it's going to be really tired in the morning check. stressed out, I'm going to make her delete a very important appointment in our calendar, that's going to be stressful. Check. Gaining weight, gaining weight. Oh, I know, I can certainly find a chocolate bar or something deep fried for her to eat today. Check. So your personal assistant is always listening. So whenever you think something bad, or you say something out loud, that you're like, oh, no, I shouldn't have said that. Or I'm shy or I'm there. So I'm that. Immediately rephrase it. In the past, I used to think that I was shy. I used to think that when I made more money, I spent more, I used to think that I was stressed out all the time. Now, I'm willing to change that. Or I'm in the process of changing that. This is a very different way of doing affirmations. Because you know, people do affirmations all the time. Oh, you know, and they look at their self in the mirror and they go, they have 500 pounds to lose. And they look at themselves and say I am saying,

51:27  
oh, or people that are in deep financial struggle. We work with the thing yourself wealthy program. And then they look at themselves in the mirror and they say, Okay, I am rich. Their personal system is in their head and like, No, we're not. What is he talking about when she? This is nonsense? Oh, we must be watching a vampire movie. Vampires don't exist. I'm not writing this down on my list. So affirmations don't work if you don't believe them. So use the progressive statement use the I used to think that I was a shopaholic. Now I'm willing to learn how to save money. Now I'm willing to learn how to manage my money. Well, now I'm willing to learn how to change that. As opposed to I am rich. Well, no, like this. Works. Right. Exactly. And Nathan, I gotta ask you, you've been sitting there watching or listening intently. Does that make sense to you? It does. And I can think of many ways where I can actually apply that. In fact, tonight, I'll be able to apply that. Oh, you care to share. I'm playing a pool league. And I've noticed that for some reason, when I'm playing pool on Friday, as opposed to Monday, I'm always really jittery or maybe anxious about the match I'm playing. So when I'm playing my match, I can say, Okay, I used to be anxious. Now I'm going to focus on my match and do what I need to do to run a table. Yes, exactly. I used to so put it in the past. So now your personal assistants like oh, yeah, January, I have this on my list right here instead that every Friday wanted to be January and Okay, so Oh, wait, you just said that in the past. Nathan, where are we talking about this in the past? Are we done with this? Do I scratch that off my list or what? So now it's time to do your progressive statement. Now I'm in the process of changing that. Now I'm willing to learn how to focus on my match. So it's the perfect example. Yeah, that's brilliant. And that's such a different mentality because in previous weeks, I would think to myself, Man, I'm jittery, I need to calm down. Not you know, just simply changing that to I used to be jittery is just a whole world of difference. It feels different when you say it, right? Absolutely.

53:47  
The fun thing about that is you are then allowed and are able to use that jittery feeling that energy that is that is coming from you. And you can use it to perform better and which is what top athletes and Natalie will tell you, that's what top athletes do, is they use their energy in a positive way, rather than worrying about

54:10  
whether you're going to make that shot or not. I remember when I was in the when I was in school and played baseball, I remember if there was a like a full count and and I was like I was just gonna be ballers are gonna be a strike. And if he if he throws a strike, am I going to swing if it's a ball am I going to and i There were lots of times it was like, I'm gay. I'm gonna swing No, I'm not it's gonna be a ball. It's gonna strike three.

54:36  
And, but there were times when I was like, it doesn't matter. I'm gonna hit the ball a long way this time. And I'm not going to be worried about it. I'm, I know I can do this. And so and that's what I do it and it's just, it's just how it works. By the way, let's go over your information. Again, Natalie. If somebody wants to get a hold of you and think yourself that calm is that right? Absolutely. Thanks.

55:00  
Your self.com Or you can go to think yourself.com/schedule To book a free virtual coffee with me. And one or two, maybe I'll give you also one extra thing is that.com/confidence guide. So that's a guide with lots of questions to talk to you about all the different layers of the brain that I was talking about. So think of some.com/confidence guide that can you can go it's a free download, so you can just download that for free with all six layers of the brain lots of questions to get you to the next level of your confidence. Do you think it's possible for you to think yourself into another hour with me right now

55:37  
much more to talk about and and Nathan's gonna make us go away in like 30 seconds. So Natalie, want to thank you very much for being here. And taking care of our audience the way that you do. It's really is an important thing and I hope that everybody takes it to heart You are as you're better than you think you are. You can do anything you want to do. And by the way, be kind to one another because each other as always.

56:04  
We'll see you next time.

 

Nathalie Plamondon-ThomasProfile Photo

Nathalie Plamondon-Thomas

Confidence Expert, 8X International No.1 Bestselling Author

Nathalie Plamondon-Thomas, Confidence Expert, 8 times International No.1 Bestselling Author.

We don’t talk to people like this: “Hey, you look fat in these jeans!” or “Hey you are starting a business? It’s never gonna work, you’re not good enough!” – So if we don’t talk to other people like this, why do we talk to ourselves like that?

2021 Canadian Presenter of the Year Nathalie Plamondon-Thomas is a Confidence Expert. She works with people who want to get rid of their negative self-talk and unlock their full potential. She brings entrepreneurs the Clarity they need to make money living from their passion. She is international No.1 Bestselling Author of fifteen books about success, communication, wellness and empowerment. She is the Founder and CEO of the THINK Yourself® ACADEMY, offering keynotes and trainings, leading-edge online courses, laser-focus business strategy and one-on-one transformation coaching.

Along the past 30 years, she has inspired over 100,000 audience members and empowered thousands of clients internationally to get rid of their negative self-talk. She combines over 10 years of experience in human resources, 25 years of experience in sales and over 30 years in the fitness industry. In 2007, she was "Fitness Instructor of the Year" for Canada.

Kevin McDonaldProfile Photo

Kevin McDonald

Owner

Creator and Host of Positive Talk Radio and its Parent Company KMmedia.pro